THIS IS THE EDITED CHAPTER. THE ORIGINAL IS STILL HERE, BUT IT IS BEST YOU READ THE EDITED VERSION BECUASE THE STORY AND SOME EVENTS DO CHANGE.
Whether the girl lying unconscious at my feet started it or not, I certainly finished it as I stare down at her body wondering what the hell just happened. I’m the center of attention in the town plaza as everyone’s eyes switch from me to the girl at my feet.
“Rose!” I turn to see my mother shuffling towards me in her too-high heels and a blazer that holds her body tighter than her skin does.
“I didn’t touch her,” I say quickly wondering if I actually put my hands on her or not. The physical evidence leaving slob on the toe of my shoe laughs at the thought of me being innocent.
“What did you do?” My mother snaps pushing me out the way and inadvertently making the girl’s skull thunk into the pavement.
“I…I…” I stutter.
“I swear we can’t walk away from you in public without you causing some embarrassing scene. Rose, if you wanted attention, you’ve got it,” she whispers harshly into my ear before kneeling to assist the girl.
“I don’t want your attention,” I mutter to her and she ignores me with a flippant hand. The demon in me wills me to attack and lash out at my mother, but I reel in my usual emotional response towards my mother; this day has been eventful enough. No one wants or needs to experience one of our mother-daughter pow-wow.
I catch my father’s wiry frame out the corner of my eye as he comes to my mother’s side.
“Dad, I don’t remember. I can’t remember what happened,” I reach out for him but he is bending over to life up the girl lying on the ground. He cradles her in his arms and I’m instantly reminded that he hasn’t carried me anywhere for 6 years. He’s barely touched me since all these accidents started happening. Once I began to change for the worst; he began to distance himself from me.
“Has anyone called an ambulance?” My dad asks and everyone confusedly shakes their heads no.
“We’ll just take her. The hospital is right down the block,” my mom tells my dad and then turns towards me. “Do you think you can manage walking home from here?”
I don’t even answer her as I turn on my heels and shove my throbbing knuckles into the pockets of my baggy black hoodie. I wrack my brain trying to figure out what happened to me and specifically what happened to the unconscious girl. Every single time my mind circles back to “it wasn’t my fault” without an explanation.
The tears come unexpectedly and so does the pain in my temples. I cry the entire way home without pause and still without my memory on the most recent events.
It isn’t until I’m at home staring at a framing of Kurt Cobain’s suicide note hanging on the door of my younger sister’s bedroom that I realize I shouldn’t be crying.
The girl doesn’t deserve my tears or my remorse or my fucking sympathy. The only words that I can recall her saying are “disaster” and “hopeless” as if she was describing me as a hurricane or a tornado. She described me as something that destroys lives; someone who can’t control themselves. I don’t need someone telling me who I am or what I am because I already know.
I pick up my mother’s decorative couch pillow that only serves to get in the way and release the pent up scream I’ve been holding into it. “I hate this,” I mumble into the pillow. “I need normalcy.”
“Being like everyone is just plain boring,” my younger sister, Jamie, says stepping into the room with a boy sagging against her arm. “Trust me I’ve tried. It’s too hard.”
I look up at her in her paint splattered jeans and torn t-shirt. Then my eyes trail back to the boy. “What did you do to him?” I gesture.
“Oh I don’t know. A little bit of this a little bit of that.” She lets him drop to the floor and comes to fall on the couch beside me.
“What did you do?” I ask her again.
“Nothing!” She laughs at my disbelieving expression. “Ok, all I did was drug him.” My eyes widen in response and she holds her hands up. “Not with rufies or anything! That’s just harsh. I drugged him with Nyquil because he started getting on my nerves. You’ll be surprised how deep someone sleeps on that stuff.”
The worst part about this entire situation is that Jamie drugging someone isn’t that shocking. She does idiotic and absolutely absurd things like this one all the time. Jamie started changing when I started changing; we both simultaneously went from sweet to sour. The worse I got the more outlandish she became. But, the difference between her and I is that she chooses to be the way that she is and I don’t.
This family is something more intimate than dysfunctional. It’s flat out broken and wrecked. I actually believe that my family was destined to slowly implode and I don’t think anyone planned it that way. But, it happened the way shit always happens. No one could have saved my family even if the future could be predicted because being a psychic won’t stop chromosome dysfunction and mothers who never cared in the first place.
“Jamie?” I sit up on the couch and she looks up from her phone.
“What?” She raises her eyebrows at me.
“Do you have some herbal refreshment?” I ask her knowing full well her answer is yes.
“That is so awkward,” Jamie laughs. “Are you referencing pot? Because if you are I am so tempted to say no. Where the hell did you hear herbal refreshment?”
“Online,” I shrug.
“Wow just wow. Whoever came up with that name is such a dick and you need to stay offline.” Jamie still laughs while shaking her head.
“Do you have some or not?” I ask again crossing my arms over my chest.
“Well duh!” She jumps to her feet and pulls a Ziploc bag of it out of her back pocket. “You have great timing. I was just about to try something new.”
“New how?” I ask.
“How does crushed peppermint mixed in with the pot sound to you?” She questions opening the bag.
“Is it supposed to sound good?” I lean forwards.
“We’re about to find out.”
YOU ARE READING
Everything I Hide From You
Teen Fiction"Even if I had one wish I still wouldn't tell you the truth about me. The truth about me is too bad for words. I could never mention it or tell. Not a single soul. Not even you. Please don't make me tell you. I love you. Isn't that enough? I love yo...
