Things got really good after that day. My mom approved of Michael, my passion for art was growing stronger, and the band's fanbase was steadily growing, the views on YouTube skyrocketing out of nowhere. Everything was great.
Anyone with common sense would know that was a lie.
Things were good, though. Everything about my mom, my art, and the band was true. But me and Michael... Things around us were changing. But we weren't.
Along with the boys' success, came the shady attitude.
By this time, Michael and I practically lived in each other's apartments. We spent entire days not necessarily doing things, but at least being near each other. It was great. Honestly. We didn't really have the problem of getting sick of each other. We were already so used to the other, it would feel weirder not to be together.
But for the past few weeks, I couldn't help but notice that the weird feeling of being apart was the one that had become more familiar. The winter nights I spent alone, huddled on the couch or looking out at the San Francisco skyline came more frequently, and the nights I got to spend wrapped in Michael's arms slowly diminished.
I told you we weren't changing. To a point, that was true. I still loved him a lot, and call me what you want, I knew he still loved me too. But there was nothing new. Except for his absence. And instead of making up for lost time in some great way, we were always back to the same thing in the morning. Same conversations, same acts, same everything. It felt like all the love was just there, but whatever expressed it...wasn't.
I asked him once where he went those nights. He just played it off. He was out with the boys or something like that.
That was a lie.
You know how everthing seems to have a domino effect?
Well, there was one night in particular that I remember that set in motion the opening of a Pandora's Box.
"He would tell me before he goes out, Reese." I sighed, wedging the phone between my shoulder and ear as I picked at the fraying sleeve of my old sweater and tucked my feet under me on my couch. It another night that I was home alone, and Michael was out. "He would always tell me ahead of time if he was going out with the boys. That way, if something-if I did anything..."
"I know," Reese said softly on the other end. That was another thing that had gotten better. I'd gotten people back into my life I hadn't realized I missed. After the incident, I dropped off the face of the Earth to a lot of people, including Reese and Kayla. They tried to contact me endlessly through that time when I wouldn't really let anyone through. I talked to them a few times after that, but a couple weeks ago, I pulled it together and got them back into my life.
"I just don't know," I let my shoulder drop and held my phone with my hand, keeping my elbow propped on the armrest. "He's keeping something from me, I just don't know what," I frowned and held my phone in front of me, partially to see the time-12:44 AM- and to see the picture of Michael and I clinging to each other on the ice skating rink by Macy's. "I don't want to lose this."
"Lana-uh, Al," Reese cleared her throat. "You and I both know I'm not the best with relationships, not at all. But, um, it sounds a little suspiscious. Have you ever thought that maybe he's....I don't know, don't listen to me, but, maybe he's...seeing someone?"
Maybe it was naive of me or I hadn't thought of it that way, but I really hadn't considered that. Not with Michael. "No," I shook my head, even though she couldn't see. "He wouldn't. Not Michael, no."
Reese was quiet for a moment. "No, you're probably right. I don't think he would. Don't listen to me, what do I know? Forget I said anything."
"Yeah, okay." I nodded to myself, trying to be convinced that of course he would never cheat. But now that the idea was put out there and in my head, I couldn't get it out, and the more of a possibility it seemed to be. What if he was? Why would he? What do I really mean to him?
