Maribat/Adribat: One-Shots ✅

Crazy Coffee Conspiracies

"Hey, Mari?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you read about this?"

The woman that Adrien was talking to shook her head, not bothering to look up. Her fingers were occupied with weaving a needle in and out of a sheet of fabric, that was a dark shade of scarlet.

"There's been a conspiracy theory floating around Tumblr about Ladybird and Red Robin."

"Really?" Marinette asked in an amused tone.

"Yep. People are saying that the two are dating and both aliens from different planets."

She froze in her stitching.

"...What?"

"Crazy, right? And there's loads of proof!" he exclaimed. "For starters, they always patrol together. Second, there's been pictures of them holding hands for god knows how long. Third, did you see what happened with the Riddler last weekend? They ripped into him so much that he started crying! #CoupleGoals!"

"...Did you just say hashta-"

"So, do you think it could be true?"

Marinette pursed her lips, whilst absentmindedly poking at a few pins stuck to a pin cushion nearby. "Ehh, what the hell, sure. Just give me some solid proof of all the alien stuff and I'm on board with the theory."

"Already on it!" Adrien said with a grin, as he stood up from the sofa he was sat at. Then, he made his way over to the front door, but not before bidding, "I'll be back later with some evidence."

As soon as the door shut, the designer shook her head, proceeding to carry on with her work.

"I'm not an alien," she muttered to herself. "At least...I don't think so."

~*~*~

"Hi Tim! Whatcha got there?"

"...A smoothie."

Adrien watched as the CEO sipped out of a pink mug, that contained a chocolate brown liquid within. Cream and bubbles sat atop the surface of it.

"Are you sure that's a smoothie?"

Squinting blue eyes glanced at him in confusion. "It's coffee, what are you talking about?"

"...Nevermind."

He situated himself at the kitchen counter that Tim was leaning on, and started, "I wanted to ask you for some help on a theory I've stumbled upon."

"Sure," the answer was, as the man in the room took another gulp of his sugary beverage. "What's the theory?"

"That Ladybird and Red Robin are aliens."

There was a moment of silence.

"...Huh. Is there any evidence?"

"Thaaat's what I actually needed help with," Adrien revealed. "I want to convince Mari that it's true, since I actually think it is."

Tim gained a slightly confused expression on his features, prompting the blond to elaborate, "Marinette. Your girlfriend?"

He gazed to the side a bit, then spoke in a daze, "Y-Yeah, my...my girlfriend."

"Are you okay? When's the last time you slept?"

"Sleep is for the weak. Now, I believe you said something about Mari- I mean, Ladybird being an alien?"

~*~*~

"So, Pixie, any news you got for us?"

"There is, yes. I've managed to get a lease to open up an MDC store in Gotham, actually."

"Where?"

Marinette turned to Bruce with a wide smile. "There's a reason I didn't say. I don't want you guys to come and buy everything on my shelves anytime soon."

"Oh, c'mon, you know we wouldn't!" Dick whined with a pout. At the flat look he got, he backtracked, "Well, maybe we would, but-"

The oldest cut himself off when the lights in the living room dimmed, followed by the television screen nearby lighting up. It revealed what seemed to be a chart of some sort, though the scale and readings were confusing, to say the least.

"Attention all of the Wayne Family," a voice boomed from the entrance of the place, making everyone snap their heads there. The sight of Tim with a pointing stick in his hands met them. "I have gathered you here today to discuss a conspiracy that - after filing through the amount of evidence I have - will be proved true."

"Replacement, what the hell? 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' was on."

"Oh no..." Marinette groaned, head held in her hands.

"...and so to prove that they are indeed aliens in a relationship, I present you this."

The TV soon projected a screenshot of a Tumblr post, that had parts of its text circled in red.

"As the user 'NoobMaster69' explains, Red Robin has frequently been seen to only be living off of coffee and 'Five Hour Energy'. How else could one do such a thing without eating? Or drinking anything else? Well, it's simple. He must be an alien."

Adrien, who had suddenly appeared beside the rest of the family, nodded along with a determined gaze, but then raised a hand. "But what about Ladybird? How is she one?"

"There isn't much to say about her," Tim replied. "How does all of the damage caused in any of her escapades get reversed? How was she able to befriend the Sirens? How is she able to date an alien from another planet? Easy - she has to be one too."

Everyone in the room remained quiet for another few seconds, until Marinette decided to speak up. "Honey, what the actual f-"

"Hey. No bad language, Pixie," Jason hushed with a hand covering her mouth. "But seriously Timbers, what are you even doing right now? When was the last time you slept?"

"...Sleep is for the-"

"Weak, we know."

Dick sent his brother a worried look. "Tim, you do realise that you're Red Robin, right? And that your girlfriend is Ladybird? Marinette here?"

There was no answer. Bloodshot eyes simply shone in confusion.

"Master Dick, I do believe that you mean fiancée when speaking of Miss Marinette."

"...WHAT?!"

"Wait, you guys didn't know? I thought Tim told you after he proposed to me, didn't he?"

"Wha- Pixie, no! We had no idea!"

The bluenette let out a tired sigh. "Great."

There was a poke at her shoulder, causing her to turn her head to a wide-eyed Adrien, who was studying them all in panic.

"Y-You're Ladybird?" he asked in disbelief.

"Great job, Replacement. You've just shared your identity and Pixie's here with someone else."

"What identity? I'm not Batman."

"You're Red Robin, Drake. It doesn't take a genius to tell that you're the same."