Asmodeus lets Simon Lewis send out letters to his close friends from the Shadow World saying goodbye to them before all his memories are lost. The letters pull at everyone's emotions differently, ultimately making the goodbye harder for them but mor...
Clary collapsed onto her bed in Amatis' old house with complete exhaustion. Even though it was far from home, Clary felt much more comfortable there than she had in the Gard. Clary was weak from screaming and crying for so many hours, and she felt as though if she cried anymore, perhaps she would be too drained to wake up again. But if only she could wake up right now to realize that losing Simon was all a dream, and he was right there, safe with her again, or at least safe at home with his memories. She had wished it so many times in the past few days, and yet, she still wanted it just as badly each time it came back to her.
A piece of paper lay on Clary's bed, and she picked it up cautiously. It read in a familiar scrawl:
Dear Clary,
I cannot believe after so many years of being your best friend, I will have no recollection of it. You made me who I am, and my childhood would be nothing without you. I am indescribably thankful for everything you have done for me. You have always been there for me, and you never ever forgot about me no matter what circumstance- whether it be a bizarre one like the ones we've had in the past few months, or what now seems to be such simple ones we had when we were younger. And while I find it unfair that I should have to lose all of that, and that you should have to lose me too, I know it is the only thing I could do to keep you and our friends alive in our world, and I know you would do the same for me. That makes it completely worth it to me. I am so sorry you will have to remember me while I won't, for I know that ten years worth of memories of us being friends will probably take sevenfold years to forget, but I wait for the day that I can see you and Izzy and everyone again, even if that is in another life. I want you to remember me, Fray, but I wish it wouldn't hurt so much. I wish I could remember you, too. But I want you to remember that I will be safe even without you in my life back in NYC, so you don't need to worry about me. I love you so much, and I always will, even if it is only through memories taken away from me, because they are still mine. Tell Izzy I love her please, one last time. I will always miss you even when I don't realize it.
Love, Simon Lewis
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Clary realized her cheeks were wet with tears. Everything word was like a knife getting pushed farther and farther into her, and yet she didn't want it to be dragged out. Half of her wanted to remember Simon, and half of her wanted to forget just so the pain would stop. But, Clary reminded herself, Simon went through so much pain for her, so it only seemed fair do the same for him.
Memories of a Simon with shaggy hair and glasses, running around and reading comic books flashed through her mind. Clary and Simon telling each other secrets and laughing at each other. It hurt so much, and yet, Simon was the best thing to ever happen to Clary. It hurt to know that so many of their memories together would now just be Simon alone. Simon running around and reading comic books and whispering secrets and laughing all alone.
Clary laid down on her sheets and shut her eyes. She thought of how Jace had never liked Simon, and yet he had saved his life multiple times, just because he knew how Clary feel if she ever lost him. And now she had. Clary thought of how Isabelle must feel, holding back her tears as she thought of the boy she had only just began to make the best memories with, gone but not really gone. How Isabelle had never really experienced love until now, and still gone. Not gone enough to mourn and move on, gone enough to not remember her name and their first kiss and the feel her hand in his. Gone for Clary, gone for Izzy, gone for....
Clary bolted upright. Simon wouldn't want this, she thought. Simon would want her to move on, with the good memories still in her head, remembering everything Simon had done with her and for her, and everything she had done for him.
He will remember. Clary told herself. Even if it took seventy years, Clary would make him remember something, anything . Sighing, Clary stood up and made her way across the room. Pulling out her sketchbook, Clary sat at her desk and opened her book to a blank page. She set her pencil on the page and began to draw.
Time passed by differently when Clary drew. It was as if she had entered a different dimension that only she could be in, passing in and out as she drew. A year ago Clary would have said passing through other dimensions was fantasy, unthinkable, pretend. Now, Clary realized with mild alarm, passing through other dimensions was possible and threatening. This is how the shadow world has changed me, Clary realized.
Clary set down her pencil and gazed at her page. It was unlike anything she had ever drawn before. Each individual drawing on the page told a story that played out into one big story, one that she knew like the back of her hand.
There was Simon kicking a soccer ball, Simon cleaning his glasses, Simon playing D&D, Simon singing into a microphone. Each drawing portrayed Simon a little older than the last, taller, sometimes happy, sometimes sad. Even recent memories took place on the page. Simon being carried, lifeless, by Raphael. Simon kissing Clary, Simon in the sun instead of hiding in the dark. Simon sinking his fangs into Sebastian, and finally, sadly, Simon clutching his beating heart in Edom as his memories faded away and his life returned.
At the end, Clary wrote in a bit of blank space of the full page,
"Finish this with me. Until then, goodbye, Simon Lewis"
And a tear fell from her eye, hitting the word Simon. Clary traced a rune over the page, and closed the sketchbook as she dried her eye and sat up. This is what he would want, Clary decided.
