inked goodbyes ~ a the mortal instruments fanfic

moving forward

Isabelle was scowling on her bed when Jace came in. Instead of looking up, Isabelle muttered through her teeth, "If you're here to try to make me feel better, you've already failed." 

Jace raised an eyebrow but said nothing, only sat down in a chair across the room. 

"I heard you screaming last night." Jace said, avoiding looking Isabelle's direction.

"You probably heard wrong." Isabelle said crossly, but her tone was unconvincing. 

"Izzy, if something's going on-"

"Don't call me Izzy!" Isabelle nearly shouted. "And of course something's going on! What, you think my boyfriend loses all of his memories of me forever and I'm just supposed to move on like I don't care? Simon-" Isabelle's voice cracked. She bit back sobs that threatened to break free. Jace, oddly enough, looked sympathetic. "I saw him in my dream. We were getting married and he said...he said he'd never forget me." Isabelle was holding back tears, Jace could tell. 

Isabelle seemed to break free from her thoughtful reflection because she suddenly spoke bitterly again. "Don't even try to convince me you care because you never cared about Simon." Isabelle scowled. When Isabelle was angry with you, it was usually a dangerous place to be in, but she seemed like she was just cracking farther and farther apart with each word, weakening helplessly. 

"Isabelle," Jace tried very softly, "you're right. Simon has never been my favorite person. But he was smart and caring- especially for you and Clary." Jace added. "He risked a lot for us, and just because I wouldn't give him credit for it, that doesn't mean I won't miss him too."

Isabelle's face softened. "Jace, I'm sorry." She sighed, "I just don't think you'll ever understand how much I miss Simon. I want him back so badly. And he isn't even gone he just-" Isabelle frowned sadly. 

"Isabelle, I know you can get through this." Jace insisted with an odd kindness that wasn't often present. "Nobody said this was going to be easy. No one expects that from you. But I know how strong you are. And maybe the feeling will never go away. But I think you need to trust that it will work out in the end. The demons work in bitter ways, but the angels' work is stronger." 

Isabelle sighed deeply. "Why do you think Asmodeus let Simon send those letters?" she asked. 

"I don't know," Jace shrugged. "Maybe he wanted us to remember what he'd done."

"But that's awful!" Isabelle exclaimed. "Wouldn't he go about it differently if he really wanted to hurt us?" 

"He did hurt us," Jace sighed. "sometimes memories hurt the most. Even if they're forgotten."

Isabelle shook her head and added thoughtfully, "Well I plan to make the best of it. I know that he meant well in his inked goodbye, and I don't want to let him down. I know he didn't want me to hurt. And even though I always will, maybe it's time to look at it differently moving forward."

Jace smiled at her and said simply, "I think Simon would be proud of you, Isabelle. He already is, but that would mean something to him." Isabelle said nothing, only forced a smile back and nodded.