inked goodbyes ~ a the mortal instruments fanfic

never forget

In the dream there were golden lights of many kinds hanging from the ceiling. The room was packed with men and women in extravagant colors. Isabelle looked down at her dress and found it the color gold- the color of weddings. A smiling man with brown curls pushed out of his face smiled at her from across the room. Simon. 

A girl with red hair that twisted into ringlets was holding the hand of a man with wavy blonde hair that was trimmed on the sides. He was looking at the redhead fondly. Clary and Jace.

But Simon crossed the room, stopping right in front of Isabelle. His eyes showed complete acceptance and love in a way that Isabelle had never seen for herself before. Isabelle smiled nervously and said, "Why is everyone looking at us?" 

Simon laughed, probably thinking she was joking. He said, not unkindly, "Because they're proud of you, Izzy. They're proud that you made it back from Edom and helped save the world from Jonathan. They're proud you chose to marry a Shadowhunter. They're proud of who you've become, especially today." Isabelle, slightly alarmed, realized this must be her wedding. 

"But Simon," Isabelle protested. "you're not a Shadowhunter!"

Simon looked at Isabelle unsurely and said, "What do you mean? I've been one this whole time." Simon stopped and smiled. "Come on Isabelle, they want us to dance."

Music began to play and Isabelle was suddenly in Simon's arms, being swept across the glistening floor. Isabelle was tempted to get lost in the music and the feeling of Simon holding her, but she forced herself to hold back. Not yet, she told herself

"Simon?" Isabelle asked, her voice shaking.

Simon looked down at her alarmed, "What is it, Iz?" 

"Simon will you stay with me?" Isabelle asked.

"Of course." He smiled lovingly. "Every day I will stay with you, Izzy. And I will never forget you."

At the word forget, Isabelle felt herself slip from Simon's arms. She was falling, falling, falling, screaming Simon's name desperately. His voice was playing over and over in her head saying, "I will never forget you."  Isabelle choked and her eyes flew open. 

Simon

* * * 

Jace stepped into the small two-bed bedroom in the Inquisitor's house. Alec had already escaped to take a shower, so Jace made his way to his bed. On his bed sat a piece of folded paper. Unfolding it, Jace knew exactly who it was from before reading it. The words were thrown across the page. Messy, even coming from Jace who couldn't draw a straight line. 

Dear Jace,

I know you might be surprised that I wrote a letter to you, but I chose to because despite our ever-existent rivalry, without you I would be long dead, so thanks I guess. Okay thanks for real- I know that you saved my life multiple times because you knew how much I meant to Clary, and I know that anyone who would do the things you did for her deserves every part of her. Well, almost every part- I don't think anyone REALLY deserves Clary, but you're as close as it gets. I doubt you'll ever really miss me, but I want Clary to know that I cared about you both while I still had my memories. I also know you never thought me fit for Izzy, but truthfully neither did I- she also seems to be too good for anyone. Maybe that's just the thing about women. I know I'll never really be done owing you for everything you've done for me, but I hope this is a start.

Simon Lewis 

Jace's mouth quirked up at the corner. Simon had taken the time to thank him. Jace felt a twinge of guilt from somewhere Jace never thought possible for picking on Simon the amount of times he did, but he was glad Simon seemed to understand it. Jace didn't miss  Simon, but he knew the group would feel empty, lacking without Simon in it, and it already seemed to feel that way now. Okay, perhaps he missed Simon a little bit. 

Jace folded up the paper, and slid out of the room. An image of Clary clutching a similar letter with tear-filled eyes flashed across his mind and he quickened his pace. Jace knew how alone Clary felt after losing Simon, and he wanted her to have someone to hold. Jace wanted someone to hold. Sorrow came from somewhere, Jace knew that, but he had no idea where this kind came from. Jace had mourned people before, his father, Max, Hodge. But somehow this felt different. It felt like preparing to go somewhere and wondering where the person who always keeps you waiting is, and realizing they're gone, realizing you will miss them.