Princess On Air

Kat Pounces - Part 7

"Monday, December 15, 2025 4 pm and it's... TEDDY... DA... VINCI !" says an offstage announcer.

The band, mostly a set of horns, start up, with a tune that could have been a hit in 1938, in the days of Benny Goodman. 

"Always ready Teddy here and welcome to the Teddy Da Vinci show. The big news story today: 

 'Will President Kat get the Nobel Prize?' Rumor has it that some Members of the Norwegian Parliament want to nominate our very own President Katherine Elizabeth Hemingway for a Nobel Prize.

"The one problem is... Which prize does she qualify for?

"Some want to nominate her for a literary prize.. Only problem is, she's never actually written a book... [Laughter from the audience] In fact, as a former primary school teacher, the last thing she wrote, in Chestnut Hills Elementary School, was probably something on the board like 'See Spot. See Spot run. Spot and Jane run.' [laughter from the audience] Now the question is, 'Are the Norwegians so desperate to give our first woman President a Nobel Prize that they will call that "literature"?' [laughter and applause from the audience] Well, they say books are dying. 

"Some want to nominate her for a Nobel Economic Prize... Well, she's not exactly an economic theoretician, with her Bachelor of Education degree.. Wait, I know what she could get the economic prize for.. Getting a $ 130 trillion tax increase through Congress to cover a $ 3 trillion dollar deficit! Kat Hemingway has, for the first time, combined economics and magic... abracadabra and the money in your World Bank account just disappears! [laughter and applause from the audience]

"Some want to give her the Nobel Peace Prize because she proposed her 'Ploughshares Plan' to literally bury all the world's nuclear weapons. But . . . didn't they notice? Nobody actually wants to talk about that plan . . . Certainly none of the nuclear powers . . . Russia, China, India, Pakistan, Israel . . . Where are they? They kind of nodded and smiled [audience laughter] . . .  Like 'Uh huh . . .'. I think  they'd have to change the name of that Prize to the "Nobel Pipe Dreams For Peace Prize" to give her that award [laughter and applause from the audience]. Ah well, I guess you can't blame her for trying. . . . 

"I think the New Little Princess has a better chance of getting a Nobel Peace Prize but they have to make a new name for the prize. I think she is the first child ever to have started a war! [applause from the audience]

"By the way, she'll be here later, to sing her last new song before her Christmas videopacks get released next week. So we'll ask her what she thinks of the President's action on Guatemala: will it help restore democracy in that troubled country? . . . "

The Princess' appearance is at the end of a long queue of actors, famous businessmen, politicians, even other top-of-the-chart singers. Teddy Da Vinci's been a Las Vegas-and-now-New York personality for a generation and only recently started this show to chat with his friends in public on the ICT. That the Princess is even here is a big step up for her. If the President had not said, this morning, "I want to thank the New Little Princess, because I didn't really understand what was happening on the ground in Guatemala until I saw the video she showed on the Carrie Woodlawn Show last week", and publicly invited her and her family to Christmas lunch at the White House in the media conference, she would never have got here. 

When her Princesistos  and Princesistas on the ICT feel like they have been watching the boring hob-nobbing of Da Vinci and his peeps for an eon, after a commercial break, suddenly The New Little Princess skips on to the stage and comes over to Teddy's desk. 

Teddy hugs the Princess and invites her to sit on his sofa with the famous people who are still there. She looks over in awe at them, having seen every one on the ICT, whether in movies, videos or on shows like this, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. Several of them say "Hi", at which she gulps and says quietly, "Hola".