For the Better

Chapter 4

I instinctively plopped down on the couch feeling an instant rush of relief. Anita was actually letting me stay. Honestly, I didn't know what to make of it. I knew she was worried for me, which didn't make me feel good at all. 'Nita turned her life all the way around for the better. The last thing I wanted was to bring this shit at her doorstep. I needed to make things right. As content as I felt that I could stay, I couldn't just bum off of her. I made a promise to follow her rules, although I didn't know about all that extra shit with that nigga Derek. I never did like niggas thinking they could tell me how to move, like my mom's old boyfriend, John. I could remember the sound of the drunkard stumbling down the steps after his day-long naps. "What you still doing here, boy?" He slurred. I could see the hate in his eyes as his fist clenched the beer bottle.
"I live here." I said coldly, not looking at him. I tried to focus on my favorite cartoon that was on the TV, but that became really hard to do when he staggered across the living room and stood right in front of the screen. I hung my head and stared at the floor, waiting for him to let loose the cursing I knew I had coming. The slurs ensued.
"You think you tough, you lil' son of a bitch? You don't belong here..." A blow landed to the right side of my head, and all I felt was my body toppling to the floor. He took a swing at me. I lifted my head off the ground to see his back turned. He was walking off, still cussing and carrying on about how I was a no good nuisance, a constant reminder of my mother's past transgressions. A seething anger began to take over me. I felt hot and cold all over, and the visual of the room began to fade away. With my eyes locked on to my target, I rose up to my feet and charged at him.
"Fuck you!" I tackled him and we both fell back on the floor. I heard the sound of his head hit the wood, and his hands instantly rose to his forehead. "Shit." I heard him exclaim under his breath. I got up, not taking my eyes off of him. A shiny vase that held wilted flowers for years in my living room caught my eye. I seized the vase, dumping the flowers and water on the floor. I turned back to John. He was still clutching his head while slowly crawling to his feet. With no hesitation, I sent the vase flying at the top of his head. He collapsed to the floor, knocked out cold. I stood over him. I don't know what I felt at that moment. I just know it felt like I was on fire.  Without hesitating, I smashed the base into his head, and it sent him collapsing to the floor. I stood over him, knocked out cold. I don't know exactly what I felt at that moment. I just know I felt like I was on fire. I was 14 when I left home. I'll never forget anything about that day.
The low humming of the apartment's air conditioning unit brought me back from my unwanted memories. I glanced around my surroundings, searching for my next move. A newspaper caught my eye, and I picked it up, turning straight to the job ads. I had some part time jobs during high school, but I never stayed with them for more than three months before I went back to hustling. I shuffled through the papers and stopped when I came across an ad for trade schools and programs. I paused for a minute and wondered if I could really do this. I couldn't go back to hustling after what happened to my boy, Jai, though. I let out a sigh as I leaned back on the couch, not wanting to remember the way his body collapsed.
At that moment, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out. It was Ben.
"Yo, wassup, man?"
"Job, my boy. I need you to do something for me."
"What's that?"
"I need you to come by and see me when you can. I gotta let you know some things, man." The sound in his voice concerned me.
"Everything alright? You straight?"
"Ol' Ben always gon' be alright, my boy. I just got some things I think you should know. Just swing by when you can."
"I got you."
The phone beeped. "Ah, shit." I sighed, shoving it back in my pocket.
I wasn't ready for what he was about to tell me.

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"Are you serious right now, man?"
"Jo, relax son."
"Don't tell me to relax! Are you really telling me Jai pulled that shit? He could've got us all killed!" I huffed, pacing back and forth in his living room. I couldn't believe what he was telling me.
"Jo, sit down."
"How you think I feel knowing he did that? He sat there and accepted that money to do Fish's dirty work and got himself killed."
I slumped down on his couch.
"He could've got you killed."
I shook my head. I didn't want to hear those words. My boy Jai really set us up. Fish paid Jai to kill King, and he ended up getting himself killed.
"That son of a bitch Fish never could do his own dirty work. Word on the street is him and King had beef going back to their earlier years. I wouldn't put shit past either one of them." Ben set his drink down and started to proceed out the room.
"Go home. I'll handle this." He assured me.