For the Better

Chapter 10

I got started in school, working towards a degree as a licensed electrician. I used to fix things around my aunt's house on multiple occasions. It only felt right to follow that talent and see how far I could take it. They were paying me while doing the work, too. The workload that I gained from school had me missing sleep and on edge. On top of that, I was still working at the grocery store, only because of how convenient it was for me to basically make my own hours and set my own schedule as a manager, along with good benefits such as health insurance and weekly pay. Anita's pregnancy symptoms were taking their toll on her. She woke up almost every morning, complaining of nausea. She had also become overly emotional. I comforted her a few mornings ago after waking up and finding her crying in the kitchen while eating breakfast.
"What's wrong, baby?"
She looked up at me, her eyes red and puffy. She wiped her nose as she sniffled.
"I'm getting fat. I can see it."
"No, you're not, Anita."
"Yes, I am,' she wailed, "and the worst part is I'm hungry. I can't stop eating."
Baffled and completely at a loss for words, I just hugged her close.
"It's gonna be okay."
"God, grant me strength." I thought as she began to wail louder in my chest. Not only were her hormones out of whack, she had become very concerned about our future. She came and sat by me on the couch one night as I was finishing up some homework. "Look at this one." She pointed to a small, suburban house with 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.
I glanced at it for a couple of seconds before turning back to my homework.
"It's nice." I said without looking up from the swarm of papers on the table in front of me.
Like bad weather, I could feel her discontent with my answer coming my way.
"Why are you acting so uninterested? You really think we can raise this baby in this tiny apartment?"
"I got a lot of work to do, babe. Can't we look at it later?"
"You said later weeks ago." She retorted.
Attempting to avoid an argument, I calmly answered: "no" without looking up from my work.
"Damn it, Jo." She closed the book and tossed it on the table, walking off.
"I'll look at it later, I promise." No response.
I'll be ready in an hour to go to the store." I called out. She responded with a slam of the bathroom door.
We went to the grocery store that evening as planned. I did most of the shopping, picking up essentials for the apartment. I placed a pack of organic tea recommended for pregnant women in the cart, hoping to put a smile on Anita's face, but her frown still prevailed. She pushed the cart through the store wearily. Everything about her expression screamed that she didn't want to be there. When I offered to push, she insisted she could do it herself. Her attitude was pissing me off. How she could shut down because of that one thing left me baffled and annoyed.
"Do it yourself, then. Do everything yourself." I shot back.
I walked towards the dairy section with my back to her. Her silence aggravated me more. I felt the shopping cart gently hit the back of my legs. Thinking she was being petty, I sighed heavily as I turned to face her.
"Jesus, Anita. I'm trying to work with you here." Her brown sweater caught my eye, and I spotted her motionless body sprawled on the floor, eyes closed. Panic flooded my whole mind as I rushed to her side.
"Anita? Anita wake up!" I tried to shake her awake.
"Is everything okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance?" An older woman a few feet down on the same aisle rushed over to us.
"Yes, please!" I begged her. Without wasting another second, she whipped out her phone and dialed quickly.
I gripped Anita's shoulders, still shaking her. "Anita, baby, I'm right here. Wake up!"
Suddenly, she came to, in a daze trying to figure out the setting around her.
"What's wrong? Why are you screaming?" She asked sincerely.
"You just fainted. Are you okay?" A look of confusion struck her face as she tried to form an answer. The ambulance arrived rather quickly, and soon we were in a cozy hospital room, awaiting a doctor's arrival. Finally, the nurse arrived to take blood samples to run tests. Anita grimaced at the sight of the needle.
"You'll feel a bit of a pinching sensation. We just want to make sure it's nothing serious." She assured me. Her deep, southern accent was heavily present. "Of course." Anita replied understandingly.
She complained of body pain, and the nurse gave her something to ease it. Whatever the nurse gave, it also made her drowsy. I watched her as she slept, and I couldn't shake this guilty feeling I had. She looked out for me since day one, and I couldn't even do the same. I should've known she wasn't feeling well. She could've hit her head on the grocery store floor and got a concussion or worse. I shook my head as I fought tears. Now wasn't the time to focus on what could've happened. Now was the time I had to be strong for her, no matter what news the doctor would return to us with. I sat up in my seat when I heard her groan softly. She turned her head, and I rushed to her side of the bed. Her eyes fluttered open slowly and met mine.
"Hey." She said.
"Hey." I smiled at her.
"Anita, I'm so sorry." I squeezed her hand gently.
"Jo-"
"I should've listened to you more. I shouldn't have said what I said."
"Jo, listen-"
"Please, let me finish. We can get the house. I'll help plan for our future, all three of us. I'll do whatever you want, baby. I was wrong. I'm sorry."
She sighed. "I didn't mean to scare you. I scared myself. It's just the hormones and stuff, it's been crazy."
"Whatever you need, I'm right here. I'm just glad you're okay." I kissed her forehead.
We heard a soft knock on the door. In came the nurse with the test results. She smiled wide, asking us how we were doing. "Your blood work looks fine. Everything looks normal. There's nothing that indicates any bad signs, but we do need to take you up to the fourth floor for an ultrasound, just to make sure everything is how it should be with your baby." She flashed a warm smile that gave me some comfort. Anita and I nodded eagerly. The elevator ride was the longest 12-second ride of my life. I didn't know what to expect from the ultrasound. All I could do was pray and be strong for Anita.
"Would you both like to listen to the heartbeat?" Anita and I looked at each other anxiously and looked back at the technician eagerly. Anita cringed as the technician squeezed a generous amount of gel on her stomach. The tech chuckled. "Cold?"
"Very. I got low iron." She groaned. "Rest assured. We can prescribe something for that." Anita nodded, satisfied with her suggestion.
The technician roamed her stomach with the sensor, searching for our baby. At first, we didn't hear anything but whirring. Then, it came out of nowhere, clear as day, steady as ever. It sounded like a drum. A wave of joy and relief overcame me. I squeezed Anita's hand and looked down at her. I'll never forget the look on her face. The screen captivated her, and the sound was music to her ears. Anita wiped tears of happiness away as she laughed.
"He's so big." She beamed.
"You mean, she's so big."
"Are you blind? That's my son." She proclaimed proudly, looking down at her bump.
"That's my baby girl." I retorted, jokingly refusing to to hear more on the subject. I always wanted a little girl to spoil.
"It's still a little too early to tell, but the good news is that the baby, girl or boy, is healthy. All screens look normal."
Thank you God, I thought to myself, thank you for it all.
The doctor stepped out of the room briefly. I felt Anita squeeze my hand.
"Joshua Joseph Wilson. What do you think?"
I could've cried like a damn baby. I couldn't believe we were really having a baby together. I wouldn't have dreamt of it any other way.
"Sounds perfect to me." I squeezed her hand back, and she giggled.
"What if it's a girl?"
I thought for a moment.
"London Alana Wilson."
Anita paused, like she was scanning her thoughts for any terrible association with the name, and then finally, she said, "I love it."
I leaned in for a kiss while placing my hand on her stomach.
"We're ready for you." I whispered.