For the Better

Chapter 7

I was in the middle of pouring some wine one Sunday night when the phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognize. I didn't answer. It rang again. I picked up the phone.
"What do you want from me?"
'Don't hang up. Baby, please, just let me explain."
"I don't want to hear shit from you, Derek. Stop calling me."
"Wait."
I slammed the receiver down hard, hoping it would make his damn ears ring.
The phone must've rang about six more times before I picked it back up.
"Nigga, I'm not gon' keep telling you-"
"Anita?"
I froze. It was my mother. Why was she calling again?
"What do you want?"
"I need you to hear this."
The firmness in her voice pissed me off. She had the nerve to demand my attention after all she had done. She didn't have shit to say that would interest me in any way. "I know I wasn't the mother I should have been, and for that, baby girl, I am so sorry. You deserved a mother who was there for you. I couldn't be a good mother to you because I had issues within myself that I didn't know how to fix..." The grip I had on the wine bottle as she spoke began to make my hand ache. "And your father didn't help any more than me with all his drinking and drugging." I put down the glass at the mention of my father. I hadn't heard from nor of him since I was moved in with Grandma.
"After we heard you graduated and moved away, me and your father truly were happy that you weren't stuck like us. We wanted to celebrate." She paused, taking a deep, shaky sigh. I felt a nervous knot forming in my stomach.
"Well, we didn't have celebration money. So, he said that some of his friends were willing to give us some money, but I had to do things..." I put the phone down from my ear, not wanting to listen anymore. I picked it up after a minute of mental preparation.
"I needed a fix, and he knew it. I told him I would do whatever." She spoke slowly. Her slow talking was starting to piss me off. I didn't feel like listening to her go down memory lane and describe her most memorable crackhead moments.
"First, they just wanted me to dance for them. Then, they asked me to strip. Then, they asked Rick if they could touch me. He told them yes. I begged them to stop, to let me go, but they just laughed and shoved me on the bed." They held me down and made me..." Her voice trailed off. "Your daddy never said a word. He just sat back and watched."
There goes a good night's sleep, I thought. I wanted to vomit.
"That night, when he fell asleep, I left him with only the clothes on my back. I knew your grandma wouldn't let me come back unless I was clean, so I ran straight to rehab. I called grandma, and I told her everything. She said she would pray for me, and then she started visiting, and bringing me things."
I thought hard and realized that Grandma did mention something about my mother on the path to getting clean, but I tuned her out. As I became older, it became more and more painful to talk about my mom, so I just found it easier to avoid the subject altogether.
"I-I don't know what to say."
"Anita, I just want you to know that I am committed to staying clean and if you'll let me, I want us to start over."
I desperately searched for something to say.
"Anita, are you there?"
"I'll think about it."
"I understand. Take care of yourself, 'Ni."
I hung up without responding. 'Ni.' I hadn't heard that come out of her mouth in ages. My spirit felt heavier by the minute. Tears abruptly started flowing, and I tried, but I couldn't stop them. Then, I just gave up and cried my damn eyes out. Soon, I was interrupted. I heard the door open. I looked up. It was Jo.
"Why are you crying? What's wrong?" He flung his keys down on the table, came over, and took a seat next to me on the couch. I didn't know where to start, so I decided not to start at all. "Nothing." I quickly wiped my tears and got up to go to bed, but I should've known better. "No, come here. Talk to me." He pleadingly grabbed my wrist and led me to the couch. I tried to collect myself. I hated to cry in front of everyone. "Don't try that tough act with me. I know you. Tell me what's wrong, 'Nita."
I looked at him, trying to determine if he was being genuine or if this was just an act. After I couldn't find an inkling of deceit in his expression, I sighed. He sat quietly and listened as I told him about my mother. He lowered his head and then looked back up at me. "Damn. I'm so sorry, 'Nita. Don't nobody wanna hear something like that happened to their mama. I know I wouldn't want that to happen to mine, regardless of what happened between us." I paused for a moment. "You still don't talk to her?" I asked reluctantly. It was a touchy subject for him. I didn't want him to get upset, but he didn't. "No. That doesn't mean I hate her, though. If she were to reach out to me, I would listen to what she had to say." I nodded my head to show understanding. I was so glad to hear those words come out of his mouth. When his mom didn't reach out to him, it hurt him to the core. Maybe now, he could find peace with her.
"Your mom is alive, 'Ni, and she's clean. That's something to be thankful for. I know y'all had y'all problems, but I also know that you love her. You should give it a chance." I was in awe. I took another sip of wine. "Damn. When did you get to be so smart?" He chuckled. "Life is full of lessons. You just gotta pay attention." I chuckled a little too, not because he said something funny, but because he was right. Damn.
Me and Jo talked that night for damn near three hours. We were just reminiscing on what life in the neighborhood was like growing up. We talked about where we thought we'd be by 21. We talked about the people we went to school with, and what they're doing now. We talked about us, too. I must've caught him staring at me at least twice. The look in his eyes brought me back to that Christmas morning. A comment on an old high school classmate brought me back from reminiscing. "That nigga Walter was so damn big, we used to call his ass Herbert." He couldn't stop laughing at his own lame joke.
"You and your corny ass jokes." I snorted as I headed to the kitchen to refill our wine glasses.
"Them the same jokes that be having yo' ass giggling." He said as he trailed behind me. There was a certain seductiveness in his voice that lit a fire in me. "Yeah, whateva'." I retorted. He could tell I wanted it. I reached for the wine bottle on top of the fridge. "Now you know you can't reach that." He came up behind me and grabbed it for me.
"I had a stepstool." I shot him a stank look.
"Your welcome." He said as he stared at me.
He bit his lip, and I could feel a party going on in my panties. "Thank you." I said, rolling my eyes. I turned to the counter to pour the wine, and then I felt his hands grip my waist. He gently pressed himself against me, and I could feel him. He was ready. He pulled my hair back and I could feel his tongue tracing my neck. "Jo, I can't," I started to say, but something stopped me. It made no sense acting like I didn't want it. He knew I did. I knew I did. I turned around to face him, and he stared into my eyes as he leaned in closer. I had a mini panic inside as I tried to figure out if I was really going to do this. I felt his lips brush against mine, and right then and there, I said fuck it. I wanted his ass inside me badly. I felt his lips graze mine again, and I didn't want to waste any more time. I pressed my lips against his and damn near devoured his face. He reciprocated the energy and tongued me down. His big, strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me close. 0It felt so damn good to have him near. Without pulling away from our kiss, he brought me up on the counter. My legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. His hands moved from my chin to my breasts, and then his hand gripped my throat. His lips moved from my neck to my chest, and down to my stomach. He tugged at my shorts, and I lifted my hips off the counter, letting him rip them off. Fuck, I missed you 'NiNi." Hearing him say my old nickname like that opened the floodgates. I was wetter than a rushing river, and I couldn't wait to let him drown. He brought my thighs up and rested them on his shoulders. His demanding tongue made me gasp. He flicked his tongue all across my clit, making me whimper. "Wait, Jo, slow down," I moaned as he sucked harder, bringing me to the edge. He stuck a finger in my pussy as he continued, then two. I gripped the edge of the counter and held back a loud moan as an intense orgasm took over my body. "Fuck, I'm coming!" I tried to catch my breath. He laughed as he came back up for a kiss. I tongued the fuck out of his ass. He still had it. Time to show him I did too. I hopped off the counter and got on my knees, unbuckling his pants. I couldn't get to his dick fast enough. When I finally got to it, I had to stop my jaw from dropping. His dick grew since the last time we made love. It was so damn big! I started wondering how the hell I was gonna take it all. Fear mixed with euphoria tingled inside of me. I looked up at him in the midst of my lust and he was looking right back at me. Not taking my eyes off him for a second, I wrapped my lips around his dick and took it all in my mouth. "Fuck." he whispered. I tightened my grip and went down his entire length with my tongue. I closed my eyes and let my tongue roam up and down the length of his dick. I could hear his labored breathing turn into a slur of curse words. The closer he got, the wetter I became. I felt his hands on my head, and I nudged them away. He already knew I didn't need no damn coaching. Now, I was gon' have to show his ass. I knew he was about to cum. I flicked the tip of my tongue around the head, and I could taste him soon after.
"Shit, 'Nita."
I couldn't hide my smirk as I stood back up. He grabbed my waist and picked me up as we locked lips. I hadn't even realized that he'd carried me all the way to the bedroom until he plopped me down on the bed.
I could feel the heat between my legs growing more and more as I tugged at his shirt to get it off. He laid me on my back and brought my legs up to his shoulder. He pushed my legs back with his hands planted firmly behind my knees. Anxiety immediately overcame me again when I glanced at his dick hanging out his shorts. I held back a fearful groan. What if I couldn't take it all? I could feel his erection at my entrance, and panic took over. My arm instinctively rose to hold him back. He looked up at me. "Move your hand." I could tell by his voice he was serious. It intimidated me, and it also made me even more wet. I instantly did as he said and moved my hand. He dove into me with no hesitation. We both gasped.
"Fuck!" I exclaimed. He did grow.
"Fuck, you got the best pussy." He went deeper. I'm only a moaner for the right dick, and Jo was the right dick. He was the only one who could make me make a sound. He noticed me trying to stifle my moans and fastened his pace.
"Whose is it?"
No answer.
"Whose is it?" He pounded me harder.
"Yours." I couldn't hold back anymore. He was hitting my spot. He had me right where he wanted me.
"You love me?" he asked.
I looked up at him. I wanted to say yes, but something stopped me.
"Hmm? You love me?" He asked again.
"Yes."
"Say it." He slammed deeper into me.
I cried out. "I love you." He buried his face in the pillow next to mine as he deep stroked me. I could feel his lips grazing my neck.
"Take this shit, baby."
His tongue escaped and traced my neck, making me whine. I was so close.
"Turn that pussy over."
"Man, fuck you." I retorted as I got on all fours and arched the way he liked. I could hear him chuckling. "Still the same smart ass mouth. I love when you talk shit, baby." he said as he slid into me. My thighs were still shaking from his missionary pounding. Pretty soon, he was pounding into me like before.
"Wait, Jo, please," I whimpered. It was so rough, but it felt so fucking good at the same time.
"Say you love this dick." He demanded, fucking me mercilessly.
"I love this dick." I was so close.
"Who this shit belong to?"
"Y-ah, you..." I struggled to get out. His grip around my neck was strong. He brought my head up to him, and I felt his kisses on the back and side of my neck.
"I want you to come on my dick." He said as he plunged into me over and over like a damn jackhammer. He loosened his grip on my neck and grabbed a fistful of my hair instead, lowering me back into my arch, but still steadily hitting my spot.
"Come for me baby girl." He held my waist tight and slammed into me. He asked, and he damn sure received.
"Fuck, yes, yes, yes!" The best orgasm I ever had rocked through my body. He slowed his pace to prolong my climax. I mean, he wore a bitch out. There's no doubt in my mind the neighbors heard us. They probably thought I was being murdered. Wasn't nothing being murdered but this pussy. I felt him coming inside me after a few more strokes. We both collapsed next to each other in a sweaty mess, and we just laid there in the dark, sitting in the realization of what we just did. I laid my head on his chest. His heartbeat brought me a strange feeling of peace. I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh. "How yo' legs feel?" He broke the silence. "Nice and sturdy." I retorted. He chuckled as he pulled me closer to him."You know, you got a lot going on, 'Nita. I gotta make sure you not going off the deep end." I snorted, even though he was right. Between my mom, Derek, and making sure Jo was okay, I was stressed to the max. "Nothing I can't handle." I said more softly than I meant to. "You don't have to handle it by yourself, 'Ni. I'm here now, I promise." I sat up to look at him.
"Don't make promises you can't keep. I don't need promises. I need a man of action."
"I know. You deserve that." He said, then he paused.
"I'm sorry for what I said to you before. Really, I am, 'Nita. You ain't deserve that. You wasn't wrong for wanting to get out and make a better life for yourself. Life wasn't easy growing up where we grew up, but I guess I was still scared of change, and losing you scared the shit outta me, ma. It hurt like hell. I had so much love for you."
I studied his expression. He was being sincere.
"I got you forever. I mean that." He pulled me closer to him.
"Come here."
I leaned in and felt his lips devouring mine as he pulled me on top of him.
Jo was never one to stop after the first round, and it had been three long years. We were about to be at it all night long.