Ocean Breeze

18- Keegan

The weekend had been miserable. John kept trying to come on to me and I kept refusing. We ended up in a fight and he had spent the night at his parent's house. Honestly I was relieved he was gone. I couldn't stop replaying the weekend trying to figure out what had gone wrong with Ryan, what I had done wrong. I came to the realization that all I had been was another piece of ass to her. Just a warm body to fuck for the weekend. John was gone so I didn't have to worry about him seeing the constant flow of tears down my cheeks.

By Wednesday Ryan had still not come back to school. I had mentioned her absence to another teacher and all she said was she hadn't seen or heard from her either. I'd had enough. I made my way to the principal's office on Thursday morning. I knocked gently.

"Come in," I heard him say behind the heavy wooden door.

"Sorry to bother you Mr. Sanders but I wanted to ask about a student. Ryan Cooper." I said.

"Ah yes, it's a horrible thing cancer. It's crazy how it seems to pick and choose the best of them."

"Cancer? Who has cancer? Is it one of her parents?" I asked.

He stopped fumbling through his papers and looked up at me. "No I'm sorry dear I thought you knew. Her parents let me know about it last year but said Ryan was very private with her diagnosis. I believe her friend Ashley, the receptionist, is the only other person who knows."

I was confused and growing angry. "What diagnosis? What are you talking about? Where is Ryan?" I demanded.

"Ms. Austin, Ryan was diagnosed with bone cancer last year. She's constantly in pain but she's a tough kid. She still played ball last season with it. She was adamant coach not know because she didn't want him to take it easy on her. She doesn't like to tell people and she still pushes herself beyond what she should. She was undergoing chemotherapy but last week she collapsed at home and was rushed to the emergency room. The doctors ran all the tests and scans possible. The chemo hasn't been working and Ryan's just been too stubborn to let anyone know just how sick she really is. Her parents called at the end of last week and said she wouldn't be returning to school. They said she didn't want anyone to know and was very stern with them about not coming home from their trip."

I felt the tears pouring down my cheeks but Mr. Sanders just looked at me with sad eyes. I stood up and stormed out of the office. How could she not have told me? There was nothing wrong with Ryan, she was perfect. She was young and healthy. It was just a stomach bug it couldn't be more. I tried to get through my classes but couldn't stop the tears. I called in a sub and went straight home. I curled up in a ball and let the tears and all of my emotions out.

I stayed in bed all afternoon and night telling John I was sick.

"Maybe you should go to the doctor Keegy. You've been sick a lot lately."

"I'm fine John," I groaned wishing he would leave me alone.

"I'm just concerned about you. First it's sudden headaches preventing you from being intimate with me and now you're leaving school early claiming to be sick yet saying you're fine!"

"Damnit John! Everything isn't about you. I shouldn't have to make up bullshit excuses to avoid having to fuck you! And this right now isn't about you. God it hasn't been about you for months." The words just spewed out. At first I was horrified but then I felt relief. Regardless of Ryan I hadn't been happy with John in a really long time.

He was hurt I could tell but being the pacifist he is he just said "I think I'll stay the night with my parents. I will see you there for dinner tomorrow night." He got up and left and I buried my face in the pillow again.

I drug myself out of bed Friday. The last class of the day there would be a pep rally so I only had to get through two classes. The bell rang to release my second class and Mr. Sanders boomed on the intercom for everyone to make their way to the gym. The halls went quite and I busied myself with putting away supplies trying to keep my mind off of Ryan.

I jumped and yelled when I felt a hand touch my side. I turned around coming face to face with Ryan. "You're even cute when you're scared." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

Suddenly all of my emotions came to the surface. How dare she show up after nearly two weeks without a word, without telling me what was going on. Before I realized what I had done I slapped her across the face. Her jaw clenched tightly and I hit her again. She grabbed my arms and I pulled away. She grabbed my waist tightly, lifting me up, and carrying me towards the supply closet. I pounded on her chest shouting at her.

"Let me go! Fucking asshole, how could you Ryan? How could you not tell me? How could you do this to me?" My fist stopped pounding and I started crying uncontrollably. I went limp in her arms.

"Shh I've got you." She whispered in my ear as she slumped to the floor taking me with her. "I'm so so sorry Keegan. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Hurt me!" I yelled pushing myself off of her. "You let me fall in love with you! You broke down all of my walls but you couldn't tell me this. How could you?" I ran out of the room grabbing my purse and sprinting to my car. I didn't turn back when I heard her voice in the distance calling my name.