Ocean Breeze

17- Keegan

Our last night together had been amazing. We had made love over and over until we were both completely exhausted. I had woken up early and saw that Ryan wasn't in the bed. I walked to the bathroom and heard her. She sounded like she was getting sick but I didn't want to pry too much. I heard the toilet flush and the water come on as she brushed her teeth. She looked surprised to see me waiting when she came out but I was worried.

She said she was fine and that dinner didn't sit well with her. I couldn't help but worry and feel like she was holding back but she reassured me and led me back to bed. We both fell back to sleep and then I woke in her arms. It was bitter sweet knowing we were heading home.

We packed up the car and locked up the villa after taking a quick walk on the beach. Ryan had held my hand while walking down the beach and she had not released it since we had gotten in the car. We listened to music and let the breeze blow through our hair. We stopped at a small diner for lunch and were within thirty minutes of being home. I was starting to grow sadder with every mile. Once we crossed into town Ryan released my hand. I felt a lump rise in my throat at the loss of contact.

We pulled up at her house and she unloaded the car. She had hardly spoken in the last hour. She opened the garage and placed my bags into the car. It was finally time to say goodbye. I felt the lump in my throat that I had swallowed down earlier. It wasn't like this would be the last time I would see Ryan but the next time would be in class, where I was her teacher and she was a student. In class where all of this didn't exist.

"Thank you for spending the weekend with me. You'll never know how much it meant to me. I know things won't stay like they were this weekend but I just want you to know that no matter what, I meant what I said. I love you Keegan. In all your forms, not just the carefree soul on the beach even though she's my favorite."

Her words brought tears to my eyes and I flung myself at her holding her tightly. I let the tears flow and she wrapped her arms around me. I don't know how long we stayed like that embracing but I finally released my grip. "I love you." I whispered kissing her once more.

The darkness I had seen in her eyes had taken over completely. She looked...heartbroken. She opened my door and I backed out leaving her in my rearview. I didn't know where things would go from here but I knew I could never go back to being the perfect little housewife like I had been playing all these years for John. Going home to him made my stomach churn. The only bright side was that school started back tomorrow and I would see Ryan again. I would at least be able to hear her voice and see her face and that was all I needed to get by for now.

—-

My morning classes went by slowly but I knew it was just the anticipation. The bell rang and I darted out into the hall taking my normal spot talking to Elaine, waiting for Ryan. The minutes passed and so still didn't see her. I waited and waited constantly looking down the hall. Finally the late bell rang and she was nowhere in sight. I kept looking towards the door all class period waiting for her to come in apologizing for being late but she never did.

I was worried. Had everything been too much. Was she sick? Was she avoiding me? Had I scared her off? I would take it all back every word if it meant I could see her again. Who was I kidding I meant every word. I thought about going by her house but realized I was overreacting.

—-

I was all nerves by my last class on Tuesday. I waited outside again until the last possible second but Ryan never showed up.

The week had come and gone and I couldn't take it anymore. As soon as class was over on Friday I went to the office to ask the only person I could think of.

"Hey Ashley. I was wondering if you had heard from Ryan. She mentioned you two were friends and she hasn't been to school all week."

"Oh yeah um sorry she's sick. She had some stomach bug or something. Her parents sent in a doctor's note but I guess principal Sanders forgot to send it to all of her teachers." She stated. She looked away quickly. "I've been checking on her though. She should be fine."

I was even more worried than before but I was also irritated. She could have at least let me know she wasn't coming or what was going on. I knew I was overreacting but after all we had shared I thought she would at least call or find a way to let me know.  I couldn't just sit back though. I had to see her. I had to find out if it was all just a lie. I raced across town.

I pounded on the door to her house. Her jeep was sitting outside so I knew she was home. I waited and then knocked again loudly. I waited and waited and knocked one final time. I heard movement inside but the door never opened. My anger built but I felt a pang of hurt somewhere inside. She was home and she was choosing not to let me in.

How could she have sounded so sincere and let a week go by with not a word? I realized I had never asked Ryan about Ashley. She had mentioned her once or twice but maybe they were more than friends. Maybe what I had suspected that first day was true, they were dating. So what was I just some secret fling?