Ocean Breeze

20-

The sun was beating down but the breeze kept it from being too unbearable. I leaned back in the chair cringing at the pain in my back. I closed my eyes and tried to relax my body. It hurt, it always hurt but this was my fix. I had spent the last week on the beach in this same chair. Everyday at dawn I came out to sit in my chair just to lean back, close my eyes, and let thoughts of Keegan take over. I replayed the first day we met, our first kiss, and our last in my mind over and over contemplating what I could have done different.

It hadn't taken me long to realize I wouldn't change a thing except for hurting her. I was trying to protect her but in the end she had ended up wounded. My body ached but my heart was what was in the worst shape. I had thought of walking out into the water and letting the ocean consume me. There was nothing left here for me. The doctor thought I had three months and so I was now down to two. The news had rocked me to my core after the best weekend of my life. I had been sick the last day with Keegan but she made it better. She made everything better. The pain was unbearable and I had collapsed soon after. I knew something was wrong. I knew time was running out for me. I cleared my mind again of everything except Keegan's face and dozed off.

—-

When I pulled up seeing the familiar car a wave of relief flooded over me. I didn't know why I had any doubt. I knew she would be here. I walked around the back of the villa seeing all the doors pushed open. I stepped inside and called out to Ryan but there was no answer. I walked back out onto the patio and saw her chair and towel and about 50 yards out she was sitting in the sand at the shoreline. I walked off the deck and trudged through the sand towards her.

—-

"So what you came all the way down here to play in the sand?" I heard Keegan's voice say.

I turned around meeting her gaze. She wasn't smiling.

"Ah I figured I should go ahead and live out that future I planned before I kick the bucket."

"Ryan don't joke about it."

"What are you doing here Keegan? I know you didn't buy tickets to the watch Ryan die show so why are you here?"

"How can you joke about it like it's nothing?"

"I guess i've come to terms with it is all. I'm sorry."

"You should've told me."

"Why? So you could pity me?"

"I wouldn't have pitied you Ryan. I let myself go for you. I let myself fall for you. You didn't think I had the right to know?"

"I guess I could've saved you some time by telling you when we met. Too late to take it back now."

"Saved me time? Ryan I was so angry with you for keeping something so important from me but I'm not anymore. I'm glad I didn't find out sooner because things probably would have been different. You might not have invited me in for drinks because maybe you thought I was pitying you or you may never invited me for a weekend getaway or you may have never given me the chance to fall in love with you. Ryan I am so in love with you. I want you and I want to be with you. Whether you beat this thing and live for 100 more years or die in the next minute Ryan I want you. I need you."

She got up from where she was sitting. "You want me? You really want to spend the next month or so miserable watching me lose my strength, watching my body breakdown, watching me die?"

I stepped closer to her. "No." I put my arms around her neck. "I want to watch you live." 

I wiped the tears streaming down her cheeks and brought my lips to hers. Her hands grabbed my hips.

"I love you Ryan Cooper."

"I love you." She laughed and then said "Come on," and took my hand in hers leading me to the villa.

"Where are we going?" I asked smiling.

"Well the other part of my dream future was a hot girl, which is you," she winked back at me. "But I left out just what I wanted to do with this hot girl and it'll be so much easier, and a lot more fun, to show you rather than tell you."

I pulled her to a stop kissing her again. "Last one inside gets naked first." I laughed and took off running feeling Ryan running after me.