𝑭𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒏 𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝑫𝒐𝒏❜𝒕 𝑷𝒓𝒂𝒚 |An Avenger/X-Men Crossover|ON HOLD

VII - Blood

On my way back to my dorm, I ran into Peter. I sighed, knowing he would interact with me.

"Hey! How are ya?" he asked cheerfully. I still didn't understand why he insisted on socializing with me when I clearly wasn't interested.

But today I was in a good mood, I mean how could I not be? HYDRA would leave me alone and I wouldn't have to hurt anyone ever again! Plus, I had a new identity. Due to my good mood, I chose to answer him for once. "Fine, you?"

He looked at me like I had grown a third eye, then excitedly replied, "I'm better than ever! Where 'you heading?"

"My dorm," I answered plainly.

"Cool! Can I walk with you? I'm heading that way anyway." Lies. He was walking in the opposite direction. Did he think I was blind?

I paused and interiorly sighed. "Sure." Jean told me I needed to socialize more, even if I didn't want to.

"Great!"

And we started back down the hall in silence. It was like suddenly Peter couldn't find anything to say. Odd.

He looked... troubled. It was sort of sad to see, so I decided to daringly start the conversation. "Are you going to train to be an X-Men too?" That was a long sentence.

"Yes, actually I will! You too?" I nodded. "That's awesome! I can't wait!"

I hummed in agreement. We were almost at my door when Peter asked, "Hey, now that you're talking to me, can I know your name? Everyone avoided my question when I asked them."

A ghost of a smile appeared on my lips. "Nova."

We'd stopped in front of my dorm now. "Alright Nova, see ya 'round," Peter said before jokingly bowing and leaving. I watched him skip down the hallway until he was out of sight, then proceeded to enter the room.

I plopped down onto my bed so I could think comfortably. I finally found a nice position for my wings to rest in.

So much had happened in so little time. I'd been freed from HYDRA's control, made a friend, gotten a name, I'd even learned math! Hank started giving me lessons on everything I didn't learn during my childhood to help prepare myself for the year ahead. Knowing how to operate an M24 or perform a perfect grande jetté won't be very useful in this school, apparently.

But I won't be in class with the other kids, because I'll be training to become an X-Men. Well, I don't know what they hope to teach me, because I already know how to fight, follow protocols and orders and... kill. Though I don't think we'll be doing much of the latter. I hope.

During my history lessons, I realized HYDRA meddled in many more important historical events than I originally believed. John F. Kennedy was an obvious Winter Soldier kill, and I'm fairly sure that the Cold War was also HYDRA's doing. In fact, I'm almost certain Martin Luther King Jr.'s murder was my doing... James Earl Ray was framed. I don't remember much, but I think I was pretty young when I shot him.

My heart seemed to drop to my stomach, and I suddenly felt nauseous. I'd been killing people ever since I was a child, who was to tell that I wouldn't continue? Deep down, a cold, heartless killer bred for the art of crime, thirsting for blood, waiting for her next victim, what if that was who I really was? I could accidentally hurt, easily kill someone. Maybe it wouldn't be an accident. Maybe I would revert to my old ways, the ones I was raised in.

I bolted to the bathroom and spilled my guts out into the toilet. I stayed in that position for several minutes before finally finding the strength to get up. One look in the mirror showed me the vomit chunks stuck in my dark brown hair. I got into the shower and thoroughly washed it out.  I tucked my wings in, but they still knocked all the shampoos and soaps off of their shelves and onto the floor. Sigh. As I reached out to grab a bottle of shampoo, I noticed that something was off about my hands. I glanced down at my them and to my horror, they seemed to be soaked in blood, my body was too. Somehow I knew it was all my victims' blood. I attempted rubbing it, trying to wash it off, but it wouldn't go. I started to panic, the red substance dripping onto the floor. I scratched and clawed at it, not realizing I was hurting myself by doing so. The thick liquid was oozing into my eyes, my vision was becoming blurry and I couldn't make sense of anything. Where was the blood even coming from? I managed to turn the water off before crumpling to the floor. Why wasn't the blood coming off? Why was it there in the first place?

The pleas of the people I'd killed echoed in my head, unable to find an exit. They begged for mercy, cried, said they had families, but they died anyway. And I didn't care! But I did now, and it hurt. I hated myself, I hated HYDRA, I hated the blood on my hands, I couldn't take it! It felt like my head would explode.

As I continuously scrapped my nails against my skin, I almost didn't notice Jean burst through the door.

Jean's P.O.V.

I'd just finished my work with the Professor and was heading back to my room when I heard Nova's loud and... disturbing thoughts. She was quickly becoming confused and hallucinatory. I ran the rest of the way back to the dorm room and telepathically contacted Hank and the Professor. I nearly knocked Peter over on my way there.

"Woah, where are you heading?" he asked, confused. But Nova was a lot more confused, and she was my priority, so I didn't take the time to respond.

I used my telekinesis to open the door and was greeted by a wet, shaking Nova, sitting in the bathtub. She was frantically clawing at her skin, leaving bloody nail marks wherever she touched. I quickly grabbed a towel from the closet and wrapped it around her the best I could (her wings were in the way) while helping her up. She didn't even bother to cover herself up when I approached her.

I helped her out of the bathroom and led her to her bed, where she sat down. I tried really hard not to hear her thoughts, but she was projecting them so loudly I couldn't stop the flashes of bloody, mangled bodies, perfectly aligned ballerinas and an intimidating, tall and muscular man with a metal arm of entering my mind.

"Shh, Nova, it's alright, you're safe," I told her, trying to calm her down without using my powers. I knew she hated the idea of mind-control, so I would only use it as a last resort.

She stared blankly at the space in front of her for a few minutes as I repeated more words to calm her down. Then, she broke down. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks and she leaned against me for support as I caressed the back of her head. She was being so openly vulnerable in front of me, and I took the time to realize how important that was to her. She was trusting me to help her, and I decided at that moment that I would never do anything to compromise that. 

"Shh, you're okay. Nova, you're with me, Jean, we're at Xavier's School for the Gifted, it's okay. You're safe, we erased you from HYDRA. You're safe."

She took a few moments to gather her words, and shook her head before quietly replying, "I-I know, but you aren't." And she looked at me with the most emotion I'd ever seen on her face, anger, sadness, regret and fear. She looked broken.

She was broken.