Passing Strangers

Special Chapter

Hyun Bin's POV

A well-known writer once said:

"The darkest hour of the night comes just before the dawn."

The darkest hour of my life was when I felt her move and she decided to get up. At that moment, I knew then that her decision was binding. While I was irrevocably in love, she was standing there cynical of her feelings towards me.

She placed something on my hand, kissed my forehead and left. The moment she shut the door, I opened my eyes and reality slapped me really hard. She's never coming back.

For the briefest instant, I wanted to let her know that I was awake and I was aware that she was leaving but my body was a stupor. I barely moved. I was a cadaver and my cause of death was loving her too much that it killed me inside. I didn't stir when she slipped out of the bed. I decided to miss my chance of stopping her from leaving because if she really wanted to stay, I wouldn't need to hold her back.

I decided to let her leave so she wouldn't have to see the pain I was feeling. It was enough that I let her know that I did my best to make her last day with me happy.

I wanted her to do what she wanted. I wanted to free her; not because I didn't love her but because my love was strong enough to let go.

The sound of her car's engine as it moved its way out of the house disturbed the profound tranquillity of the breaking dawn. I was looking through the window pane. The fading stars in the constellation reminded me of the past. If she had only seen my face as I was hoping she would change her mind, she would probably be in tears. If she had only read the thoughts inside my head, she would probably know how it feels to die a million times.

The sun rose into a new day. Maybe the hands of time were frozen because everything seemed to be the same no matter how hard I tried to keep her off my mind.

Days were never the same again. The house was empty. Every sound I made seemed to echo back. Those echoes reminded me that I was all alone. Time after time I would space out and weep into the fact.

I retained all the traces of her in the house. I never changed the pillow cases again as they reminded me of the smell of her hair. I never changed the curtains as they reminded me of how happy she was when she peeped through the window and realized that spring had sprung. I never touched the arranged flowers on every vase as they reminded me of how she blossomed like flowers when she was still with me. I never replaced the drying reed diffusers as they reminded me of how the house smelled when she was around.

Every single thing that reminded me of her remained untouched. I wanted to preserve all the happy memories that these things had.

I was packing my most necessary things as I have decided to leave the house. The house was all gloomy that the sun, no matter how hard it tried to brighten up the sky, didn't illuminate the darkness inside our home.

I saw at the top of the dining table the property separation agreement that she handed me the night before she left. I read every line and I was dumbfounded to know that leaving has been her best choice. While I had no idea that we were breaking apart, she already had it in her mind that we need to live our lives separately for good.

She returned to me all the properties I have given her. She executed a document which allowed me to recover all under the community partnership – our acquired assets including our marital home. My emotions were then fucked up over and over.

How was it possible for me to divide our home when our love was the foundation to it?

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