[DISCONTINUED] In The Crowd (Muke)

1.0 - Video

Luke staggered into the family room with a medium-sized white paper bag in his hand, and was surprised to see Marisela sitting with his mother.

"Marisela?" He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Luke!" She grinned, looking somewhere behind him and seeming overly happy and relieved. "I'm so glad you're okay." She mumbled quietly enough for Luke and the few people around the two to hear. He was going to turn around and see who or what she was looking at, but was suddenly pulled into a hug. "I might've told the nurses a little lie so I could come here to see you," she whispered nervously, "Long story short, they think we're engaged."

Luke's eyes widened in surprise and he quickly pulled away from her, "Wha-"

"You had me so worried, Luke." Liz cut him off, looking from Marisela to the nurses with a knowing look, and she pulled him into a warm motherly hug that always calmed Luke down, whatever the situation. He wrapped his arms around her and felt himself melt into her embrace, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Oh, what's this?" He heard his mother ask, gesturing to what Luke was carrying.

His smile faltered. "Can I tell you in the car?"

"Sure, hun." She said softly and sent him a smile, then they walked out of the room with Marisela trailing closely behind. His mother abruptly stopped, "We need to discharge you." Just as she was about to turn around, Luke shook his head, telling her that the doctor had already taken care of it.

As they all got into the vehicle, Luke quickly buckled his seatbelt and fidgeted in his seat, waiting for his mother to bring up the pills again. Well, she didn't know that they were pills just yet, all she knew was that he had been prescribed some type of medication, and there could be more than one type of medication... well, maybe. They drove in a comfortable, yet awkward silence, and after a couple minutes of Luke switching back and forth between the radio stations, he finally settled on a station that was playing his favourite Sum 41 song, and hummed along quietly.

"So?" His mother asked, breaking the silence.

"What?" Luke asked, fake confusion laced through his voice. She raised her eyebrow at him, and he sighed internally. "Well, um. I don't know how or why I was diagnosed, but apparently I am depressed." He decided to keep it blunt and simple sounding, that way he didn't need to explain too much.

He heard Marisela's breath hitch in the backseat, but didn't think much of it. Depression is a surprising thing, after all, so her reaction was expected.

"But you have no signs of-"

"I know, that's what I told them."

"Why'd you faint?" She asked, concern and question's spilling out of her mouth like a waterfall, leaving Luke drowning in her words because he didn't know how to answer, he didn't know what to say, he struggled to answer the questions that he didn't even know himself. All he knew was that he was majorly exhausted. And that he was probably a bit too over-dramatic when he fell to the ground and called for help. He blushed in embarrasment as the memory was clear in his mind, because it had happened only a few hours before then.

"From exhaustion. The doctor told me exhaustion is a symptom. I don't think I'm depressed though." He told her, but couldn't help but feel that maybe he knew that he was. Somewhere in his mind there was a voice screaming out that he knows that he is depressed, that the loneliness and sadness he's been feeling was obviously connected to it. But he thought that he felt depressed, not that he was actually diagnosed with depression. And it was shocking. Because he thought that being sad was a normal thing for the every day human to encounter, except he doesn't feel like a human anymore, no; he feels like a pile of bones trapped inside a body that goes through every day motions, not even bothering to think twice about the numbness he feels every morning that he wakes up. But when you take the time to think twice, you begin to overthink, and when you overthink, that overwhelming feeling of sadness becomes more evident and more easily able to destroy every single part of your mind and body, leaving you with nothing at all to show for what you have been through. But perhaps it was good not to think about anything. Your mind is the most dangerous tool to yourself.