The Dog Man Extra Crunchy Book O' Fun

Even more Improper quotes

Hamlet: Why do people eat bacon?
Li'l Petey: i have NO idea. Bacon is gross!
Hamlet: true dat!
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Chief: when a tree falls in a forest but no one hears it, does it make a sound?
Molly: probably not, but do bunnies & deer hear it?
Sarah: they probably would hear the tree falling.
Flippy: where would they be? Eating berries & nuts?
Molly: yeah? Maybe. I guess so.
Sarah: ya don't need to have 3 answers for 1 question, ya know.
Molly: oh. Oops!
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Li'l Petey: thou mayest.
Timba & pumbaa: hakuna matata
The little engine that could: i think I can i think i can
SpongeBob: I'M READY!
Petey: what is with all these mottos?
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Dogman: beggin for bacon!
Hamlet: what kind of phrase is THAT?
Dogman: the Beggin dog treats commercial.
Hamlet: oh. Coolio.
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Li'l Petey: meow mix defies gravity. Meow mix bends physics.
Petey: huh?
Li'l Petey: clean YouTube poop videos.
Petey: oh. Riiiiiiiight...
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Sarah: I'd like 2 pork rinds, please
Piggy: i ain't giving you no pork rinds!
Sarah: you're a pig.
Piggy: so?
Sarah: you ARE pork!
Piggy: oh CRUD!
Sarah: *licks lips*
Piggy: 😓
Sarah: yum... BACON!!!
Piggy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I DON'T WANNA BE EATEN!!!! GAHHHH!
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*November 16th, 2019*
Li'l Petey: in March, a supa big bad Coronavirus is gonna kill alotta people. It's gonna be a BAD pandemic. A global catastrophe, to be exact.
Petey: I highly doubt that.
*March 22nd, 2020*
Sarah: (onscreen) oh no! Coronavirus is killing alotta people! It's a global catastrophe!
Petey: how the HELL did you predict that accurately?!
Li'l Petey: i dunno. But i still was right, papa!
Petey: damn, You're good.
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Sarah: (onscreen) our news station has caught on fire. We don't know who did it, but we'll figure it out & let you guys know as soon as we know whodunit.
Dogman: oh no! This is my worst nightmare! I don't have a drink!
Petey: really, Dogman?
Li'l Petey: hey doofus!
Petey: *scolds* KID!
Dogman: huh?
Li'l Petey: Perch Perkins is speaking to ya! The news station is on fire! Drinks aren't important right now! Stop being Patrick Star & solve that crime!
Dogman: oh shoot! I'll fix it! *runs out of the house*
Petey: what now?
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Hamlet: when papa returns, i will leave.
Petey: I'm not sure if that is gonna happen any time soon.
Hamlet: oh.
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Pediatrician: Li'l Petey, it looks like you have ADHD.
Li'l Petey: i know that! He's at home!
Pediatrician: do you know what that means?
Li'l Petey: 80 hexatron droidformigon!
Pediatrician: umm, incorrect.
Petey: not your robot buddy!
Li'l Petey: oh.
Pediatrician: it means attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
Li'l Petey: what now?
Petey: your friend 80-HD's name is a play on the disorder ADHD.
Li'l Petey: ohhhhh. Wait, what now?
Petey: oh brother.
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Hamlet: let's go to the moon!
Li'l Petey: *sees Dogman mooning them* ewww! Dogman, stop mooning us!
Patricia: *giggles*
Dogman: oh sorry! *pulls his pants up*
Li'l Petey: *makes a coo-coo sign with his hand*
Patricia: that was awkward.
Hamlet: yeah.
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Milly: obviously, Dogman did it.
Dogman: did what now?
Chief: YOU POOPED ON MY FLOOR!
Dogman: no I didn't! I haven't done that since our 2nd book!
Chief: if Dogman is telling the truth, then WHO would do that?
Milly: i saw a squirrel come in recently.
Dogman: that's most definitely NOT squirrel poop. It's a bit bigger than that.
Chief: wait! I know who did it! Crunky did it!
Milly: oh nooooooo! Wait, why would he do that?
Dogman: i dunno.
Bub: *overhears* Crunky, the cops are mad at you! You pooped in Chief's office.
Crunky: what? I had to go SOMEWHERE!
Chief: *facepalms*
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The end.