Wickedly

[1] Story

Lazuli

My name is Alma Bowman, or rather, I was Alma. I was born in America, and spent my entire life fighting for my country.

I've gone through many hardships in the past. And the first was my family, they mistreated me as a child, so I grew up by silent and obedient. It wasn't until I reached high school when I got bullied by my classmates. It was a challenging phase I had to endure for four years, I only found escape through the books I read in the public library.

There was one novel series I had taken interest in, it gave me enough drive to earn money by selling my paintings and playing on the streets. It costed me a lot, but I finally earned it. My parents found out about how I earned my money, and punished me by locking me in the basement.

A week in that basement, no food or water, I found solace in the books I collected. It was like living in a dream that never seemed to end, despite how hungry and cold I felt in that place.

One night, I finally had enough of this family. One of my brother's friends found me in the basement, I thought he was being friendly because he took pity in me, he gave me food and water before helping me sneak into the bathroom for a shower. When midnight came, he tried to force himself in me. That's when I had my breaking point.

I ran away from home after knocking out my assailant. Living in the streets was a nightmare, I had to survive by begging for scraps and stealing - if anyone were to ask me what I regret the most, it's not survival.

2 years later, a woman approached me one day. She found out about my recent gang fight with one of the guys in the slums. I ran from her, afraid she'll arrest me for killing the guy who tried to assault me. But after catching up to me, she wanted something else.

That's when I was hired to join the army. Seeing my potential in the streets, the woman thought of putting me in the Navy SEALS. I was hesitant at first, until I realised working for a better purpose is better than living in the streets again.

My life flipped to a hundred and eighty degrees as soon as I accepted her offer.

To sum it all up, I've gone through shit, went into deep shit, and buried myself with shit. The army was no easy work, everything had to be precise; will and commitment, the only two factors I've pushed myself to reach the top.

There were times I had cried myself to sleep, wishing to escape again. But what good was escaping from your problems? I had no one waiting for me, and I had no home to go to. I pushed myself to the limit, accepting every shit thrown to me. The torment, the agony, the pain...all of that in three months.

When war had come, I never felt more afraid than anyone in this world. I could've thrown myself off the cliff before we were drafted, but I chose not to. Honestly, what better way is there to die than in war?

Surprisingly, I survived.

My life as a soldier went on for 29 years, I had reached the milestone at age 48. General Bowman, that's who I was known for. All of my hard work paid off, it was fulfilling.

But of course, every good stories comes to an end, whether it be good or bad. Mine happened to be the most heartbreaking moment in my life, losing my one good leg.

I had isolated myself from the world after that. Retiring from the army at that age wasn't ideal, at least for me. And losing my leg had been unfair, so why did I have to? I didn't think it's because of my recklessness, I grew up careful, I was hardly full of risk. So it must be because I'm really a pitiful person, who deserves nothing.

All this thinking drove me into madness. What had I done to deserve such life? Was I such a pathetic person after all?

While I crashed my whole apartment, one box fell from my old things, and that's when the novel series I bought from the past fell out.

The same books I carried throughout my struggles in the streets and in the army. The same fantasy I had escaped to whenever I felt depressed.

The series, God of War.

In that moment, I suddenly recall the struggles of the protagonist in the story. He lived a life full of hardships, just like I had. I always felt saddened that he had to go through so many, only to end up betrayed in the end. But his uprising had been the one good thing that happened within the series.

I always felt that I could relate myself to him. If I was the woman he had fell in love with in the series, I would've given him the world instead of running off with his right hand man. Her selfishness led him to a dark place, and by the end of the book, he died peacefully in his own flames, burning the Empire with him.

Although the series had been frustrating, the life he had lived never felt more real than any other. I had wanted to join him in his path, if I could then I would be his knight, and we'd conquer the world together. The emotions I shared with this book was the escape I always go back for, a fantasy I'll never get to live with.

Until I died.

Yes, this is where the real story began, about me reincarnating into that novel series.

The world I once thought was big, shrunk in comparison to the other side. I always knew wishing from the bottom of your heart was dangerous, I wasn't careful enough, that's why I ended up here.

To this whole new world.

Let me tell you how my end became my beginning, how I found a new place to call home, how falling in love is full of temptation, and how enemies should really be put to rest.

This is my story.