Antisocial [h.s]

[twenty-nine]

"So, I suppose we've both learned by now that while I'm under the influence of anesthetics or alcohol, I am incapable of lying,'' I announced and Harry chuckled, smiling at me.

"Yeah, I've noticed you struggle,'' I smiled at him and he sat down on the bed, beside my legs, facing me. "So, you like me?"

"Huh, so no beating around the bush there,'' I remarked and bit my lip, looking down at my lap. He chuckled at me and leaned forward, tilting my chin up with his thumb and pulling back, just making sure I was looking at him. "I don't really understand, I've just never felt this way before, you make my heart beat in ways I know aren't because of my health problems because even though you make my heart beat faster you make me feel healthier and more alive than when I'm not with you or thinking of you." I sighed and ran a hand through the hair I knew was going to fall out in a short amount of time. "I know I'm not the most desirable person, I'm not the prettiest, smartest or most entertaing girl, but I can't really change who I am, and I definitely can't change my health state very much. I'm sorry for letting this happen, I've never felt this way before and it's so confusing, but I just, '' I sighed and directed my eyes to Harry's tattoos visible through his white t-shirt. "It's honestly okay if you can't reciprocate, like, I get it, you're too good for me and you can get any other girl, it's alright-"

"Fuck that,'' in a split second i could feel his hand at the nape of my neck, hands combed through my hair, and his lips on mine. 

Holy fuck, Harry's kissing me. Harry Edward Styles is kissing me and holy shit. 

I could feel my stomach tighten with emotions and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his neck as his hand was placed on my hip. His lips were warm and soft against mine, I had no idea that this was how a kiss felt and no other feeling could compare right now. His lips were moving gently against mine, the sounds of my heart monitor could be heard but I couldn't care less, just craving Harry as I moved my lips in a simliar fashion as he did. I was experiencing basorexia; a burning desire to kiss, and I finally realized what I had been missing out.

The beeping became annoying so I blindly reached to my right and turned the knob I was already familiar with down until the noise was silent and the only sense I needed right now was feel. 

I combed my fingers through the curls at Harry's nape, they were so soft and his lips smiled against mine which only provoked a smile upon my lips and so we were really just smiling with our lips pressed against each other at that point and I didn't care. I hadn't even realized that whilst we were kissing I had moved so I was kneeling in order to be closer to Harry. I was the first to officially pull away, slightly panting through a smile. Harry rested his forehead against mine and his breathing matched mine. 

"Blake, you're honestly the only girl I want or need and me being too good for you is just bullshit because you're an angel. you are the only girl I see, you are the only one. And to be honest, for that being your first kiss you are pretty fucking good at it,'' I felt myself blushing but my smile still wouldn't come off my face. "I really hope I get the opportunity to kiss you like that more often.''

"Me too,'' I whispered in agreement. 

"So what is going to happen between us?" he asked, hands combing through my hair softly.

"What do you want us to be?"

"I'd like to be an 'us', but first I'd like to take you on a date,'' he grinned. "Are you busy right now?"

"Uh,'' I began to giggle and pull away, "Kinda, unfortunately.''

"Tomorrow night then?" he asked and I nodded.

"Definitely.''

He pecked my lips once more and my heart skipped a beat, or ten, at that point I couldn't have cared if it stopped completely because I was utterly content.