Antisocial [h.s]

[eighteen]

I explained to the doctors my decision and they set up 4 separate appointments to remove a few tumors at a time so I wouldn't need to get cut open as much and just so they could get it over with and I could do some outpatient treatment so I was allowed to go to class and such. They said I needed to take my medication, eat healthy and regularly and sleep well. I'm also not exactly supposed to be doing too much exercise but I need it and it's a way to boost my strength and clear my thoughts so I'm not stressing. I also can't just stop now, I made a commitment to Felix and I can't do that so he doesn't need to know about my medical state. If Harry rats me out then I'm screwed and I'm going to kill him.

So now I'm just sitting on my bed in my dorm room and having my thoughts drown me.

When I collapsed and got Ashton or whoever to call and the lads came to get me Harry had retrieved my phone and then he left it in the hospital room before I rudely told him to leave. I'm starting to wish my phone had been run over by a truck because I keep getting texts from Harry, well not like he's a stalker or clingy person but every so often he will text me and I really do not want to look at the message because I'll just bring him right back to me and then I'll hurt him so I'm ignoring him in hopes to save him in the long-run.

I feel guilty as hell but it will help him later on, right? Yeah.

I hear the lock of the door turning and then the door opened to reveal Perrie and she brightened when she saw me. "How is it whenever I actually spend the night in our room you're somewhere else?"

"I don't know, weird and ironic though," I replied and she smiled, shaking her head as she shut the door.

"So, what's happening with you and Harry now? I was just in his and Liam's room with some other people and Harry was hounding Liam about you. I thought you guys spent every minute together now?"

"Complicated, I guess," I shrugged, leaning back against the wall. "I'm like a machine on self-destruct and it's counting down right now and Harry doesn't understand."

"Ooh, interesting. Why are you gonna explode?"

"It's complicated."

"Right. Well I hope all goes well with you two, you guys seemed really happy when you were together," she smiled at me and I returned it falsely before realizing what just happened.

Shit. We just had a friend moment and a venting session. Dammit. I am so stupid.

"I'm gonna head out for a bit," I slid off my bed and tugged my converse on. 

"Okay, I'll see you later then.''

I smiled at her before slipping my phone and wallet into my hoodie pocket and then grabbed my skateboard before heading out. 

~-~

Okay, I know the doctor said to eat healthy but seriously, I can't resist McDonalds, especially when I'm sad, McDonalds and pizza are my go-to foods. 

So I am now currently sitting on a swing, eating a Big Mac and chips and drinking chocolate milk. Fat food is happy food. 

"Hey, Blake, right?" a slightly familiar male australian voice spoke, walking over with that blonde Irish dude. 

"Asher?" I guessed.

"Ashton,'' he corrected and I nodded.

"Sorry,'' I apologized. 

"How are you doing? Did you find out what was wrong?" he asked, taking a seat on one of the swings beside me while his friend took the other. 

"It's a-It's a bit complicated,'' I don't know why but I sort of feel comfortable around him, maybe because he knows Harry from what I remember of the phone conversation or maybe because he almost witnessed me drown in my own fluid and he helped me. "It's not exactly new though. My lungs were filling with liquid and blood because a few tumors had punctured them. If you really want to know you could just ask Liam or Harry,'' I replied, taking a bite of my burger.

"Wait what?" the two lads said in unison.

I swallowed my food and spoke, "There are sick people in the world, it's not something new.''

 "You don't look sick,'' Niall-THAT'S HIS NAME, THANK GOD I REMEMBERED-remarked.

"And you don't look like a natural blonde but hey, people can deceive. I won't appear so deceiving in a little bit so don't worry about it,'' I tossed a couple, well three chips in my mouth and felt my phone tickling my stomach with its vibrating. 

I pulled it out and saw Liam was calling me. I was still chewing when I swiped my thumb across and hummed 'mhmm' as an answer. 

"Finally you answer. I thought you were kidnapped or something,'' Liam sounded relieved and I smiled before swallowing my food. 

"I'm at a park, ran into that Asher-Ashton guy and Niall. I'm eating food on a swing.''

"Why are you always with my friends now? They're going to end up liking you more than me,'' he complained jokingly and I smiled.

"Sorry Liam.''

"What are you eating?"

"Well, it's not pizza, but it's not exactly healthy..."

"She's having McDonalds!" Ashton called, leaning in to talk to Liam.

"I thought you were going to eat healthy?" he accused.

"I'm not going on a diet, Liam. I am in perfect shape, physically."

"Whatever. Call Harry, he's upset that you're ignoring him and  he's worried and I don't care about your "I don't want to hurt anyone" thing because happiness makes you healthier, like I think it was a proven study or something and since you won't take your antidepressants Harry is a substitute because you looked happy with him and you didn't have nightmares with him,'' he demanded. 

"You can't make me,'' I childishly retorted and I heard Niall chuckle.

"I'll lock you in a room with him,'' he threatened.

"Just give it up, okay? You're bumming me out,'' I mumbled and took a bite from my burger. "McDonalds is the food that's making me happy, don't ruin it for me.''

"Fine, but go back to your room soon and sleep, it's getting dark out,'' he advised.

"Okay, bye Liam, I love you.''

"Love you too, Blake.''

I ended the call and bit my lip, sliding my phone back into my hoodie pocket. 

"Blake, I bet I can swing higher than you,'' Ashton challenged me childishly and I rose my eyebrows at him.

"I wouldn't risk dropping my food and have you seen my legs? They're short but they're strong and I can sure as hell go higher than you,'' I replied and he looked at my legs and then it seemed like he was mulling something over in his head.

"If I win, you give me your McDonalds and Niall gives me twenty pounds, you win, Niall give you twenty pounds and I buy you ice cream, if Niall wins he gets twenty pounds and your food,'' he decided and I nodded.

"Bring it on,'' I smirked at the both of them.

"Well I guess I'm in this now,'' Niall said, tossing his hands in the air. 

I put my half-eaten burger in its box and in the bag and then I returned the chips to the bag and then I slipped off the swing and walked over to the side where I put my skateboard, setting the McDonalds bag on it as well as my phone so it doesn't break and my wallet so I don't lose it.

I then returned to the swing and we began our contest.