Seventeen

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Jungkook

In these two years, I never saw her cry because of someone. And there were many at the university who would occasionally throw ugly words her way with each opportunity.
However, she would act though and indifferent. She would keep her head up and walk by them, not giving the slightest attention to their mean remarks.

That's why I was asking myself, why would my words hurt her?
Why would she cry because of me?
She never showed that their opinion affects her. Why would it be any different when it comes to me?

After all, I was just a nuisance she wanted to play with.

Wasn't that what she made sure to show me with each opportunity?














Jungkook stared at you hard.

It was lunchtime and there you were, in the cafeteria, sitting at the big table made for eight people, enjoying your lunch all alone while writing in a leather-wrapped journal. Enjoying is a strong word but you at least tried to make it seem that way as you felt his eyes on you.

It's been a week since he spoked so coldly to you. Since you slapped him. Since for the first time in so long, you allowed yourself to cry.
He had all the right to fuck whoever he wanted. You were doing the same thing. It's not like you two had any type of relationship, thus neither of you had any right to tear each other's eyes out if the other one was dating or fuck whoever they wanted. It wasn't what triggered you. But the way he had chosen his words.
And it hurt you more than you wanted to show him. Especially when he said that you'd better go and fuck someone.

It wasn't something you enjoyed doing. There was no way he knew that but still, you couldn't refrain yourself from throwing it back at him. And you slapped him. You wanted to hurt him for hurting you and you couldn't find any other way.

After running away that day, you walked all night long trying to clear your mind. Once again asking yourself what were you even doing with your life. Why were you still battling to find your purpose.
When you clearly knew the bitter answer since the moment you lost your mother. And that was that there was nothing left for you to keep going. After all, no one would care if you existed or not. No one would even realize if you would disappear. So, what was even the point to go to classes? What was the point of struggling to survive? Not even your home felt like home anymore.

Apart from that day. That day when you woke up to find him in your kitchen. It's been so long since anyone cooked for you and you had to admit that he had completely taken you by surprise. You enjoyed his soup and the doughnuts. And you just realized you never thanked him for it.

You had never thanked him for anything.

Until now your mind never wondered about boys yet you couldn't stop thinking of him and that was definitely something against your nature. You had to admit that he kinda turned your world upside down. He felt like home. He smelled like home. Only thinking about him you had this tickling sensation in the pit of your stomach. And you had no idea what to do with it.

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