What's wrong with Captain Ri?

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Pyo Chi-Su scratches his head as he stares at Captain Ri's retreating back.  He has worked with the superior officer for a number of years now and thought he knew him well.  Lately however, the commander has been acting very strange...

He starts to walk back the dirt road leading to the soldier's barracks. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. It must be that pesky South Korean," Pyo Chi-Su sighs. He pities the captain for having to stay put to guard that annoying woman. She must be driving him crazy. 

A few days ago, he received an odd phone call from the normally honorable and just Captain Ri, ordering him and his three comrades to add an extra fifty laps to their regular exercise.  Pyo Chi-Su wondered what mistake was committed to warrant this punishment.  He couldn't think of any!  The men were disciplined and he hadn't been drinking.  In fact, the night before, he and his comrades enjoyed a noodle dinner at the captain's house. Even the South Korean was very generous and gave them all a capitalist heart.

The captain seemed even stranger when he returned from Pyongyang with the troublemaker.  He accompanied Captain Ri to the village market and Pyo Chi-Su was surprised at the number of chickens the captain purchases. "I will fry them for dinner and serve it with cold beer," Captain Ri confesses.  They pass by the candle stall and the commander insists on buying the lavender and bergamot scents, rejecting the jasmine.  "This is good for sleeping," he confides.  Pyo Chi-Su pretends to understand. "He must have lost his mind at the Taedong River," he concludes.

Pyo Chi-Su reaches the barracks, hurries in and narrates Captain Ri's latest odd conduct to his comrades. Just today, he recounts, he needed to report a theft in the camp. He banged on the captain's gate for a lengthy 15 minutes before Captain Ri swung it open, sweating and breathing heavily. It was shocking! The normally very neat officer had messy hair and his shirt was worn backwards.  A few seconds later, the capitalist woman came running behind him, a handkerchief dangling from her hair, the buttons of her shirt askew. "I asked them what was happening and they both turned red. The captain said he was just eating some apples. Seri said she was fixing a clogged pipe. I know they were telling porky! They could not fool Pyo Chi-Su.  Comrades,  what is wrong with Captain Ri?"

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