Taylor

Chapter Four

The next morning, I awoke to Luke opening the front door. I jumped up and ran after him. "Hey, where are you going? Are you okay?"

"I've bothered you enough. I understand that you want to let this place go, and I'll respect that."

"I'm not the same person I was, Luke."

He stopped once more and looked at me.

"How can I come back here and fall back into the way things were when I'm not who I was?"

He shook his head. "Nobody is the exact same as they were. Some people change more, some people barely change, but never the exact same. Especially around here. I mean look at me. Do you really think I am the same me you knew? Because I'm not. And I'm not a child anymore–neither are you."

"I'm worse. I'm broken." I stared at Luke, knowing that those words were selfish. But they were true. I was mentally broken. I couldn't be friends with Luke because he deserved better than an angry, selfish drunk with PTSD. He needed stability in this part of his life. He just didn't understand that I was trying to protect him.

"The thing is, Taylor... that doesn't make me care less. I want to be there for you. I want to help you."

Always so caring. Even as kids he was always so worried about how I was doing and what I wanted. And I had taken advantage of that. I hadn't realized that's what I was doing at the time, but I could see it now and I hated myself for it. He had deserved so much, and all I did was treat him like crap. "You need to focus on yourself and staying healthy–not me and my issues."

"How about you stop trying to tell me what I need and let me decide that for myself?" Luke snapped. He stared me down, but I didn't look away. My eyes met his with the same defiance he had.

"It's the least you could do," he finally added. It was those words that made me drop my shoulders in defeat.

"I'm still leaving," I warned.

"I know."

"I'm not interested in sharing my life story," I added.

He looked disappointed, but nodded and smiled. "I understand. I better get to the bar."

"Oh, yeah I heard you owned a bar. How did that happen?"

"I used my college money to invest. And, thankfully, it turned out to be a great investment."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Instead of going to college, Luke had bought a bar. I would have never guessed. "I'm glad things worked out so well for you."

"Thanks, Taylor." He paused for a second. "Would you mind taking me to dialysis today?"

"Uh...." I trailed off and bit my lip feeling unsure if that was a good idea.

"It's just that Mom takes me a lot of the times and I overheard her get invited to something tonight but she turned it down for me. I'd like for her to go out and have fun instead of worrying about me 24/7."

Although I absolutely didn't want to, I said, "Okay, sure,"

He smiled, said to pick him up at 6:30 PM, then left.

While I waited for that time to come, my furniture was delivered and I was able to set up everything but the TV, which was supposed to be mounted on the accent wall, but that required knowing the accent wall color. Once again, I stared at the red, orange, yellow, blue, and green. I moved the blue above the rest and looked over it. Maybe I should look at different shades of blue.

At 6:15, I left my house and went to the bar. After finding a parking spot on the side of the building, I went inside and was immediately greeted by a bouncer.