I will not hurt you

what's her name?

Kylo Ren's P.O.V

As soon as I am back to my quarters I walk to the girl's room. She is in the bathroom, steam covers the front of my mask and I can feel the humidity in the room. She limps out, a towel covering her body. As soon as she senses me she freezes. I feel no fear in her yet again, just annoyance in her thoughts.

What does he want now?

"Tonight Grand Admiral Nalda will accompany you for dinner. I will find something for you to wear, do not try anything or your punishment will be severe. You are lucky to be staying where you are, ruining it would not be wise." She gives me nothing more than a nod, and a fire of anger strikes in my stomach. "Answer me when I talk to you girl." I say while approaching her quickly. She looks at my mask but it feels like eye contact to me. 

"I apologize for last night" I voice, sensing the rising anger in her, "I will be back in fifteen minutes with your garments."

Mera's P.O.V

I let out a sigh of relief as soon as he leaves. Dinner with the Grand Admiral Nalda? Normally you wouldn't think that a prisoner would be allowed to do that. I do not understand what the point of it is, but it can't be anything good. 

I take the opportunity after he leaves to put my bra and underwear back on, I hope that I will be receiving a new set of both soon. Using the towel that was previously on my body, I ring my hair out of the majority of water. The feeling of the hot shower made everything feel better, I can only hope that my stitches were okay to be moist, I clean the wound and await the return of Kylo Ren. 

The more I think about him the more I truly hate him, I wish he would have killed me that day on Crait. The fact that it was only six days ago hurts my heart, I want so desperately to go home and be with everyone else. I would give anything to sit around a table with Poe and Chewie playing cards. Chewie and I laughing at Poe's mistakes.

*Three weeks ago*

"We are so lucky to all have found each other" I sigh happily, leaning my head on Poe's shoulder. He does the same to me, and I can feel him smiling. 

"Oh boy Mera is getting emotional again" He sets his cards upside down on the table, leaning with his elbows on his knees.

"Even if we don't win this war, I like to think of these moments. Just us being young and having each other. Times like this make me feel safe." I add, looking up at the stars as much as I can with Poe's head on mine. 

"You'll always have us" Rose whispers, holding my hand in hers from the opposite side of the table. 

"As long as we're all here you'll never feel alone, Mera." Poe whispers, kissing my temple when Finn and Rose aren't looking. 

*back to present*

I wipe my under eyes but the tears still fall despite my best efforts. 

Now none of you are here and I am alone. I feel more alone than ever, wanting nothing but to wake up in my own bed right now. Although the one I sleep in every night now is far more comfortable, I can still hardly close my eyes without having a nightmare. 

I walk to the bathroom again, looking at myself in the huge mirror. My eyes are tinted red, making me absolutely hate my blue eyes. They have always been the thing that gave away my emotions, ever since I was a small child. The slightest bit of crying made them red and emphasized the blue, and it still does apparently. I lean my elbows on the counter in between the edge and the sink while sighing, rubbing my temples before running my hands over my forehead, pulling my hair back. The marble feels cold against my skin, just as everything else in this prison does.