Night 4

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“Make a wish, Maxine.” My sister is lying on her back, staring up at the stars. The beautiful, twinkling stars that fill the sky are the main topic of conversation tonight.  I look up and find a star to stare at, then make my wish. Shutting my eyes, I imagine myself standing on a cloud; watching the world beneath me, with the city lights blinking and cars flying on the highway. City Park is quiet and still, and I can see the outline of my sister, lying on the grass. Everything is peaceful. Then a herd of geese fly through and suddenly I’m back in my backyard, standing by the porch. Watching her curls bounce around her face as she stands on the top of the swing set, looking at the stars. It seems like just yesterday we were wishing on those stars. Now I’m pleading with my sister, telling her to come down. She just shakes her head. Her feet are precariously balanced on the top beam, ever so steady.

“It’s time for me to go.” She says softly to the clouds. “NO!” I scream, afraid for her. For me. “Home.” She closes her eyes and jumps. Her arms are stretched to the sides, like a bird taking wing. Falling, falling. I’m rooted to the ground, unable to move, unable to think. Because the unthinkable has happened. I don’t know what to do, but I know one thing. I have to leave, leave this place of pain and love and sorrow. Life is no longer worth living, not without my counterpart. My other half. My sister.

 

No.

She...she left me.

Just like everyone else.

WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!

She’s gone, forever.

I am alone now.

I don’t want to be left alone, never, NEVER!

I THOUGHT THAT YOU HAD LOVED ME, BUT YOU DIDN’T!

YOU WOULDN’T HAVE LEFT IF YOU LOVED ME!

People tell me to move on, tell me it’s ok.

IT’S NOT OK!

I am forever stuck in the past.

I will never be able to move on.

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