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"Be good to me this time, okay?" I whispered as I brushed the hair of my favorite horse, Dust

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"Be good to me this time, okay?" I whispered as I brushed the hair of my favorite horse, Dust.

''Dust is ready. Are you ready, Vernaise?'' my lolo asked.

I turned to him and saw that he was ready to teach me again. I nodded my head. On my first attempt to mount the horse, I made a mistake. I sighed and tried again. On my second try, I succeeded without anyone's help.

Dust has been with me ever since my Lolo gave him to me as a gift when I turned seven years old. My grandfather gave me Dust because he knew how fascinated I was with watching a De Leon ride a horse when I was a child. After seeing how skilled that De Leon was, I knew I wanted to learn it too. I wanted to be as good as him.

Si Lolo ang nagturo sa'king mangabayo. He was patient but he was a tough teacher. Ilang beses akong nahulog pero pinabayaan niya ako. Iyak ako ng iyak nang minsan'y halos mabalian dahil sa maling pagbagsak. I was hospitalized for a few days.

Daddy was furious. Panay ang pagtatalo nila ni Lolo. They were like the Petronas Twin Towers, always towering high and mighty because no one wanted to back down. Meanwhile, Mommy and I learned to just ignore their endless arguments.

"When you need to learn a lesson, Vernaise, it's never going to be easy. Sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way, but that's okay. It's important to recognize your mistakes and weaknesses so that you become stronger and more resilient the next time around," he explained to me once, after I was discharged from the hospital. "Do you understand?"

I wanted to quit because it seemed like I wasn't learning anything from his teachings.

I didn't listen. I just furrowed my brow and looked away. I didn't want to hear his teachings at that moment. I was still upset with him. How could he do that to me?

"You really are your father's child . . . and there's no doubt that you are my granddaughter," he laughed with amusement. "No one can mistake that."

My eyes widened, but kept my mouth mum.

''Kung aalalayan kita palagi, paano ka matututo sa sarili mong mga paa?'' He sighed softly and caressed the side of my head, trying to instill his values in me. "Do you want people to see you as a spoiled child who only succeeded because of your father and grandfather's help . . . and not because you earned it on your own?"

Anger sprouted in my young heart. Is Lolo trying to say that I will be nothing without them someday? Dahil doon, mas ginusto kong pag-aralan ang pangangabayo. I want to prove to Lolo that I can do it by myself, that I will succeed even when I'm on my own.

I also realized that Lolo was right. He probably just wants me to be independent and not depend on him or my father. So that's what I will do from now on. May mga bagay na hindi ko dapat iasa sa kanila.

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