Dear Ezra,
So remember how I really wanted mike to show up today? Well he didn't and I understand no joke! He's going through a lot! And it's hard he's probably thinking and wondering why he has to go through all this pain. Well him and I both. It sucks it really does. I'm sure I'll see him more often. He's one of a kind. If only we could talk more. I feel like he would tell me. He would talk to me. He just wants some one to listen to him! That's all. And needs a shoulder to cry on. Like I already said he want d to cry yesterday. And so did I! It's sucks it really does.
Well I've friendzoned Jon yes I did. I don't want any boyfriends!! Does the world not get this?!? I'm not wearing makeup and I'm dressing like a bum for a reason!!! I need to focus on school! And get out of DeAnza as soon as possible! I'm going to apply to San Diego and if I get in that's it I'm going! Done deal!! I feel bad for mike cause that was his number one school he wanted to go to! Now if I get in and go it's going to kill me knowing miles not going to his dream school. Yesterday when I saw how sad he was I just wanted to see him smile that's all and I did it I made him smile! It's sucks know people are going through what I'm going through or even worse! I just want to take a moment and pray for them.
Dear our father in heaven
I know I haven't prayed in a long time and I am sorry. But I'm here praying everyone gets better especially Mike. He's a smart young man lord I know you know that. He has gone through a lot the past 2 weeks and I hope he doesn't have to be sad about it any more I want him to be happy he's braking just like I am he has lost someone I can tell just by the way I was talking to him and he gave me a hint about it. It sucks it really does after 12 years of loosing nana I really wish she was her just to get a hug from her and for me to be in her arms and being protected. You have her now and I know she's in a better place but I wish she was still here. Father I hope that you help all of us be strong and lead me to do better I'm going to try my best no more playing around! I promise! Ezra here is my witness! But I'd like to also thank you for another day another chance to a better day! Thanks father.
Ezra give me a sign tomorrow that you're with me. I never got my flower. Don't send me another boy! Please no!! I'm already trying to figure out how to get ride of all the other ones!! Give me a sign a flower please! I just want to know if you're with me!! A boy giving me a flower would be ok! But don't send him with out one please lol! Sorry just give me a sign.
Thanks Ezra
Love Mari ❤️
