(Previously on LEGO Batman)
(Opening titles)
Time has passed since the Joker had been captured once again by the dynamic duo. How long exactly? Not too long? Another cold, dark and miserably wet night by Arkham Asylum. A night pouring and bucketing down rain, and rain, and more rain – the dank feeling of the prisoners inside Gotham. However, down along the corridor to the cells, we see a prison warden wandering down the dull grey walls and cold hall floor of the prison sipping a coffee to watch the little TV positioned next to the wall. Currently, on the news – Daily Planet Online News, presented by Clark Kent reading the news as to the left of the picture is a picture of the Joker tied up once again before being taken away by the authorities.
Clark Kent:
Batman safely recovered all the stolen property, including Bruce Wayne's Man Of The Year Award. The only thing left for the Joker? A swift return to Arkham Asylum, along with the title "Goon of the Year". This is Clark Kent on assignment in Gotham City for Daily Planet Online.
A punch fired by a metal wind-up onto the top, knocking the guard off his seat and smashing his coffee over the floor. SMASH!
Guard:
Hey!
It was of course the Joker by the cell next to it, as the firing puncher is pulled away by the guard with its long slinky like metal.
I was watching that!
Joker:
Too much television is bad for you, pumpkin.
The guard takes the device away, muttering to himself...
Guard:
How does he sneak all that stuff in?
The Joker smiles, holding onto the bars of the cell, before turning to the smashed TV. He then breaks off into a soliloquy into his own little cell with all the mess lying around such as pens, steering wheels, chicken legs, bananas etc.
Joker:
Clark Kent! Really despise that guy. Coming all the way to Gotham City to insult me. Me! A hometown boy who made good.
A sinister voice booms from around outside his cell...
Lex:
You're right. You don't deserve that.
Joker:
That's right. I don't! Wait, who said that?
He looks around his cell, confused.
Lex:
How would you like to be out of Arkham right now? And given a chance to take revenge on Batman and the rest of this ungrateful city?
Joker:
I'd have to be crazy to say no to that offer. Unless you're just one of the voices in my head, in which case, I'm crazy anyway.
He smiles as a vibration begins sounding from behind him. The bricks of the wall begin shaking erratically. The Joker backs away from it as the bricks are broken away from the wall as a blue flash explodes from behind the destroyed wall. As the Joker takes a look to see the damage – Lex Luthor stands holding with the Deconstructor weapon. The device holds some Kryptonite at the back in its long black and green weaponry. The rest of the black bricks fry with the electricity of the energy from the weapon, now as the Joker is free to wander out and greet Lex in rain with the bricks lying around them.
Joker:
Oh. Hey Lex! You come to get your watch back, or did a bus from Metropolis get lost and break down?
Lex:
First, I don't take the bus.
A helicopter with its centre body and the extended wings at the top of the craft fly upwards with its propellers.
And second, yes, give me my watch.
The Joker hands over the stolen watch back to its owner – Lex.
Joker:
So. What'cha got there?
Lex:
This my friend is the Deconstructor. It emits a unique energy, one that is absorbed so quickly by any shiny black object, that it causes it to pull itself apart.
The Joker is excited by the possibilities of this weapon, smiling as he sees the broken pieces of metal around him. Lex fires the device as a wave of blue energy fires out to the nearby black metal to one of the cells as it gradually pulls itself apart, breaking it down before it blows away to reveal the Penguin in his cell in a bathtub as he turns to them surprised.
Penguin:
Nweeh?
Joker:
Nifty! What's it got to do with me?
Lex:
I need help replacing its power source. It doesn't run on double-A batteries.
He turns the end of the device to the laughing Joker to reveal the problem.
Joker:
Kryptonite.
Lex:
You help me, you can use the Deconstructor to your heart's content. Know anybody who has lots of shiny black unbreakable "toys"?
Joker:
I don't know who you're referring to.
Lex:
Come on! Batman! Oh, you were...
Joker:
Joking! I'm the Joker. Why are you going to all this trouble for me, Lex baby?
Lex:
Well, I might need some of that Joker gas you're so good at making.
Joker:
Oh, yeah, I guess that could come in handy for someone running for president.
Sirens sound! Alarms echo! A voice announcer calls out...
Guard:
Prisoner escape! Repeat! Prisoner escape!
Lex:
We should be going!
Joker:
Can I just have one try?
He snatches the device out of Luthor, who failed to keep it in his hands after a short little fight. The helicopter descends closer to the building as the entrance is opened as Lex jumps in. The Joker however fires the gun out to another wall, breaking it, to reveal Catwoman who scurries from the top of her bunk bed with a meow to hide underneath. He then fires the Deconstructor randomly out before he jumps aboard with Lex, still firing around everywhere. One prisoner who has been freed from the device is Two-Face watching the ship fly off.
Two-Face:
It's a shame, now someone's going to have to fix this. But the good news is I'm out of prison!
The ship speeds around Arkham, the Joker firing and firing and firing out repeatedly as walls begin cracking and breaking down to nothingness. The Joker and Lex had escaped...
YOU ARE READING
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