November 5th, 1956
Emily's birthday was yesterday. She's just turned 15. She said she didn't want anything for her birthday, but of course, we didn't listen. I'm gonna have to teach her how to drive – I just know her mama's nerves wouldn't be able to handle it. Hopefully I'll still be around to teach her.
I'd been doin' alright with keepin' the whole substance issue under control, until earlier today. I don't think I'll have any sense of control after today. Eleanor was already suspicious, but now that it's gotten worse, she'll find out eventually. Eleanor and Rebecca have a way of just knowin' everything. And Emily's just the same.
I'd like to think Emily wouldn't tell them if she found out, but her and her mama are too close. If she didn't outright tell her about it, she'd find a way to let her know. But maybe I'm wrong. Eleanor and I can barely go a day without fightin'. I just keep myself locked away in our room or even the bathroom, just so I won't have to argue with her.
Emily's got a dry sense of humor, and she makes jokes about how I'm gonna find an apartment. That doesn't seem like too bad of an idea. I've found some sense of escape with another lady. Now, it's not like how you're thinkin', I promise. I wouldn't be able to do that to Eleanor.
But while Eleanor yells at me over small, irrelevant things, this other lady doesn't do that. She has some sense of emotional depth, that I used to be able to find in Eleanor. I won't ever write her name though. If Eleanor were to read through my journal, I just know she'd kill this woman. It's not even cheatin', but that's how Eleanor would see it.
There are multiple ways for me to lose my family right now, and I don't wanna go down that path. but at the same time, I'm not happy. My marriage isn't what it used to be, and that's no way to live. I was so in love with Eleanor at one point in time – I just don't know what happened. I still love her, and I always will, it's just not the same. Somethin' shifted.
Maybe that's just how marriage works. My mama and pa got divorced, Rebecca and Billy were gonna get divorced before he passed away, and now me and Eleanor are driftin'.
As always,
– Edwin Myers
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The Soldier's Journal
Tiểu Thuyết ChungA young boy, Edwin Myers, enlists in the US Army in 1941, during the second World War. He's badly injured in the battle of Crete, which lands him in the field hospital. His weakened eyes seem to jolt back to life once they landed on Eleanor Francis...
