Spy School: Prom?

Chapter 5: Lost In Thought

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Top Floor
Erica's Dorm
9:45 AM
Saturday
April 1st

Erica's POV:
I couldn't stop thinking about everything. It'd been a month and every night since Ben stood up to Josh for me, I'd thought about Josh and Ben.

Ben and I have been friends for a while now, but I've known Joshua longer.

He kinda does kinda seem like the player type or one of those guys with one thing on their mind. But, he says he won't cheat and that's not what he wants but I don't know really.

I've always had trust issues and I think I might be trusting the wrong guy.

But I might just be worried I'll get hurt.

But if Josh says he won't hurt me, shouldn't I believe him? He's pretty strong and can be a really nice guy-

But it depends on his mood.

It'd been a nice month while dating Josh but I felt really conflicted.

Ben has never once lied to me. Always been straight-up honest, he tells me what he means or is thinking and is a really sweet guy. While Joshua is pretty narcissistic, Ben is the complete opposite. He always expects others to not like him, especially girls. He's funny and sweet and kind, while Joshua can be funny in a mean way and he can be a huge jerk at times. Ben is really protective and told Joshua to be a good boyfriend to me, even though he likes me and I kinda chose Josh over him. He even said he was trying to ask me out when Josh interrupted, but I said yes to him instead of letting Ben finish.

The more I thought about it the more I wondered why I even said yes to Joshua.

Woah, slow down there, he IS usually really kind. Stop acting like he's the devil or even just unfaithful. He may seem a little flirty sometimes but that might just be his personality. Trust him unless you find reason in his recent actions not to. He might be telling the truth.

I mean he's handsome and cool, but Ben is adorable and sweet.

Stop that. Joshua is your boyfriend. He's kind and tries to make you happy. One part of me said.

But Ben doesn't even have to try. Another part said.

Stop making everything about Ben and take some time to enjoy what you have!

I realized I called Ben a bad friend when I was being the bad friend. I treated him like crap and he still tried to look out for me.

All this thinking was making my head hurt so I decided to get some rest. It was already 10. I thought about texting Ben to say I was sorry when I chose not to.

I'd wait another day to make sure this was the the right decision, even though I was pretty sure it was. I had a weird gut feeling that something was going to go very wrong very soon. I really wish I had been wrong.