Never Enough

Chapter 15

Adam informed me that he would be at the new house today as the construction is practically completed so I went home and changed into something presentable then drove to Jordon's place, my mind racing with a mixture of apprehension and determination. The conversation with Adam had provided a new perspective, offering a glimmer of hope amid the confusion and hurt from the previous night. I parked my car and took a deep breath before climbing the stairs to the front door. With each step, I rehearsed what I wanted to say, trying to find the right words to express my feelings and seek clarity.

When I finally reached the door, I hesitate for a moment, my hand poised to knock. I took another deep breath, steeling myself, and rapped on the door with a firm, decisive knock.

Seconds stretched into minutes, and just as I began to wonder if he was home, the door swung open. Jordon stood before me, looking slightly surprised but mostly concerned. His expression softened as he took in my appearance, his eyes lingering on my face.

"Alexus," he said quietly, stepping back to let me in. "I didn't expect to see you."

I step inside, feeling a rush of nerves but also a surge of determination. "We need to talk," I say, my voice steady despite the storm of emotions inside me.

He nodded solemnly, closing the door behind me. "Of course," he replied, gesturing towards the soon to be living room. "Please, have a seat." he says as he gestures to the pop-up chairs he has in place. 

We settled in chairs that were facing each other, a palpable tension hanging between us. I took a moment to gather my thoughts, my gaze focused on my hands folded tightly in my lap.

"I couldn't stop thinking about last night," I began, my voice soft but clear. "About how you introduced me as your interior designer, nothing more."

He sighs heavily, his shoulders slumping slightly as he ran a hand through his hair. "Alexus, I'm sorry," he started, his voice tinged with regret. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just... I didn't know how else to handle the situation."

I look up, meeting his gaze with a mixture of sadness and resolve. "But why, Jordon?" I ask, my voice trembling slightly. "Why couldn't you just be honest with them? With me?"

He hesitated, searching for the right words. "It's complicated," he admitted finally, his eyes not meeting mine. "I've built a certain reputation in my industry, and... well, relationships can complicate things."

I felt a pang of disappointment, but I pressed on, needing to understand. "So, you used me to maintain your image?"

Jordon shook his head vehemently, his eyes finally meeting mine with sincerity. "No, Alexus, it's not like that," he insisted, his voice earnest. "I care about you. A lot. But I have to be careful. You know how it is in our line of work."

I nod slowly, absorbing his words. "I understand that, Jordon," I say quietly. "But I thought we were building something real. I thought you felt the same."

"I do," he replied earnestly, leaning forward slightly as if to bridge the distance between us. "I do feel the same, Alexus. That's why I wanted you there last night. I wanted you by my side because... because you matter to me."

I felt a flicker of hope, but I couldn't ignore the lingering doubts. "But you didn't want anyone to know about us," I pointed out, my voice tinged with sadness.

He sighed, his expression conflicted. "I know I messed up," he admitted, his gaze steady on mine. "I should have been more upfront with you. I should have been honest about my intentions."

I nod slowly, processing his words. "I just... I need to know where we stand, Jordon," I say softly, my voice wavering. "Can we move past this?"

He looked at me, his eyes searching mine for a long moment. "I want to," he replied honestly. "I want to make things right between us."