Never Enough

Chapter 6

It's been two and a half weeks since I've heard from Jordon, and I'm struggling with the frustration of his silence. This is why keeping things strictly professional is so important—it helps avoid complications. With no new assignments from him, I've been using my time to work on designs for future clients, and hopefully, for Jordon if he decides to revisit the project. It's always good to have fresh designs ready; you never know when someone will ask if I have anything new to show.

Natalie and I haven't talked much either. Since our last argument, she's been staying with Adam, only coming back sporadically. I'm not even mad at her anymore, though I was at first. I should apologize, but my pride keeps getting in the way. She was right when she said she didn't know what was happening in my room; she only knew that I said I wasn't going to have sex with Jordon, and then suddenly, things changed. I look at her back and feel a pang of guilt. I need to apologize, and I need to do it now.

"Natalie," I say, turning to face her. She looks up, waiting for me to continue.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you like that. It was wrong of me."

"It's okay," she replies. "Regardless of what was happening, I should have knocked before walking in. I'm sorry too."

"I've tried reaching out to Jordon since then—texting and calling—trying to apologize for whatever I might have done wrong, but I haven't heard back."

"Adam said Jordon's been really upset. He doesn't want to be around you because he can't control himself. Maybe you should give him a chance, Alexus."

"Giving him a chance goes against everything I stand for, Natalie. What would people think if I dated a client?"

"Who cares, Alexus? The most important thing is that you're happy."

"I don't understand why being friends isn't enough for him."

"Because he wants you in a way that goes beyond friendship."

"Well, I can't offer him that right now. He needs to respect that."

"Or you could stop being so stubborn and just be with him. You and I both know you don't want to be just friends either."

"I'm done with this conversation," I say, raising my hands in frustration before turning back to my computer. "You can't hide from the truth," Natalie says before returning to her work. Part of me knows she's right, but another part can't accept it. Things are already messy because of our near encounter, and I'm afraid of making things worse. For now, I might as well keep things as they are.

As I dive back into my work, my phone pings with a message. It's from Jordon, and I can't help but feel a surge of excitement.

Friday, 9:00 am. You know the place.

Ok, see you then!

He doesn't reply to my last message, which leaves me feeling a bit disheartened. I shouldn't have expected much more from a text, but the silence is still hard to swallow. I've got four days before we see each other again, and I hope I can find a way to mend things and return to what I consider normal. I wish I'd never let things escalate as they did. No matter how much I wanted him and how good it felt, I should have set clearer boundaries. His presence is intoxicating, and resisting these feelings is proving difficult.

I text him again, asking if we could meet up to talk, but after waiting for forty-five minutes with no response, it's clear he's not interested in discussing things right now. If I could redo that night, I'd consider changing many things—perhaps Natalie walking in, but then again, that wouldn't fix the fact that we crossed boundaries we shouldn't have. I hate how much I crave his touch and how much I enjoyed the feel of his lips on mine. I need to talk to him, to make him understand my side, but it seems like he's not willing to listen.