Chapter 4 - What Am I?

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"Dude I'm telling you Christian is gonna win. I mean he is perfect for Nessa"

"But Nessa is gonna fall for Brandon, cuz I mean every "innocent" girl likes the "bad boy" right?" Anna and Stacy at it again.

Vanessa Merrell on the YouTube video: "The one who is not a match for me is..."

"Hurry up woman, we don't have all day" Anna yells at the computer screen.

"Brandon." Said Vanessa.

"I told you," Stacy said proudly, "Dude I am always right?"

"Oh, c'mon! Look at that handsome guy leaving. Hey Brandon, come to me Nessa doesn't deserve you" Anna shouted. I rolled my eyes and laughed. Typical Anna.

"C'mon guys these things never work," I said, standing up "How could two people fall in love in a week?"

"Yeah, whatever" Anna replied sipping the last few drops of soda that was left in her cup.

"Anyways, we kinda have bigger problems"

"What is that?"

"Prom is in May and we still don't have prom dates"

"Dude and how many months away is May?" Stacy asked,

"Five?"

Why is Anna so hyped about a prom which is five months away? I don't even like prom. The only day I'm looking forward to is the last day of school. The day we all go crazy. The day our teachers won't put us in detention when we play pranks. The day signifies that we are free. I am not very sure of the free part but definitely, no detention or homework involved.

"By the way guys, that new kid Tara is having a party tomorrow night. Sasha, you got to come"

Said Anna.

"C'mon, Anna you know that I don't go to parties, right?"

"Sasha, do you realize what year of school this is?" Stacy said in her concerned "Motherly" tone,

"This is the last?"

"Exactly! When you are no longer in school. When you are exposed to the real world, you must be able to move about. Meet people. Talk to them. Just because you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean you should avoid doing it."

"Yeah but it's going to be different" I replied

"Yeah, it is. It's gonna be more ruthless, people are gonna be meaner. If you want things to be different, you gotta make it different"

The last "You gotta make it different" was very powerful. So powerful that there was complete silence after that.

"Stacy," Anna said breaking the silence

"Yup"

"Did you ever consider being a motivational speaker as a career?"

"No. why?"

"You should. Cuz you are amazing at it. I feel so motivated"

"Yeah. Super motivated" I laughed

"C'mon let's do our homework before my mom comes home. She might end up checking our work"

*********************************************

*One hour later*

"Sasha, I'm home" yelled Mom.

"Up here"

"Hi, girls,"

Mom said swinging my door open.

"What have you guys been up to?"

"Nothing, Mrs.Tompson. Just homework." Said Anna.

"Oh, that's good. I am going to make dinner, are you guys staying for dinner?"

"No. We will be going home in a bit. We just finished our homework" Stacy said

"Ok. I'll be downstairs if you need me"

"Ooh. My mom texted. Need to go home" Anna stood up and started packing

"I am actually surprised that we finished our homework," Stacy said standing up.

"I know right? You guys sure you don't want to stay back for dinner?"

"yes sure. See you tomorrow. And where something cute to school."

"Oh and Sasha, think about what I told you. If you want college life to be different, start making the difference. It's not too late"

"I'll think about it"

We head downstairs and I wave them goodbye.

"Sasha come and eat dinner, I made pasta. "

"Sure mom"

I put some pasta into a bowl and head upstairs to my room and shut my door. I get my phone and scroll through my Instagram feed. Same old, same old. I go on Spotify and play my "Why don't we" playlist. My favorite song "What am I" starts playing. I sit cross-legged and stare at my walk-in wardrobe. My wardrobe doesn't have doors so, I can see all my clothes hung. They are all black. Well mostly, there are other colors too, but again they are dark. In the corner of the wardrobe, I catch a glimpse of pink and white. I remembered the time I loved wearing pink and white, but then kids in school were all like "Eww Sasha you're so girly" and then two years ago I gained 10kg in less than a year and I have no clue why! So I stopped wearing white because it made me look fat. "What am I?" I thought to myself "Who am I?" "Am I the girly kind who always wears pink? Or am I the tomboy-ish kind who rocks it in black?"

Then I remembered what Stacy said, "Just because you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean you should avoid doing it." "If you want it to be different, you gotta make it different". My lips curve into a smile as a brilliant idea pops into my head. "I should stop underestimating myself. For once I got to love myself and do what I want. Just like Anna, she doesn't care who is around her if she feels like singing she will sing, or if she feels like wearing a neon vest under her white shirt she will wear it. But she does it with confidence. If she can do it. Then I can-". My thought process was interrupted again! This time it wasn't my mom it was a notification from Instagram. I grabbed my phone to see who it was from. Oh, one follow request. Wonder who it could be I don't have many followers. I open the app and immediately freeze. SHIT-


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