Unfolded

2

May 23, 2010

I watched jasmine jump in and out of the water with juelz. They were having so much fun I forgot how fun it used to be to just jump in and out of the sprinklers. The laughter, the loudness, and screaming all around just filled my heart with joy. I watched as jasmine ran from the dog she begged me to adopt. It was still a puppy but not the same puppy I adopted 6 months ago. She was a Siberian husky. Very beautiful calm soft playful dog. Jasmine loved her and she loved her back. That's all I wanted her to feel is love. And to know she's loved.

The other day when she brought up her "mom" I didn't know what to say or how to respond. We barely discuss her parents unless it's the time of the year where family is together or if she just feels left out in society because she's "adopted". The more she questions me about her parents the more I realize that she's growing. She going to ask questions. Last mother's day she didn't speak one word about her mother. This Mother's Day all she did throughout the day was ask questions about her mom and tried to even ask my mom some questions.

I'm starting to worry. She's getting too close to what she doesn't need to know. She's questioning my mom and my dad. She hasn't yet questioned my sister however she's questioned jay and surveyed me. I asked Mya about the unusual outburst and blamed her for jasmines behavior. Mya denied the fact that she is the reason for jasmines behavior and that it's my own fault why she's inspecting every little detail. I couldn't help but to admit that my cousin once again is correct. She's always been correct. She's warned me about a lot of things and I never listened to her. I don't take back a lot of things but I wish I was able to go back and take the moment to actually listen to her and not be in the position I allowed myself to be put into.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt a masculine hand on my shoulder. I looked up it was jay

"Are you going to go talk to her or you're just going to just watch her like you've been doing for the past 8 years" he asked

I knew exactly what he was talking about. Like all the other times, it wasn't the right time. Even if I wanted to the system wouldn't let me live this one out. The media will hang me for this. I'm not going to allow my fuck ups to make anyone else and their innocent life unhappy. No one should suffer but myself.

"No she's having fun. It feels good to finally sit in the sun"

"Baby, you can't just drown in your lies" he said and I agreed. He spoke again, "she's getting closer bey. The worse thing that could happen is letting her find out when you're right-"

"She's not ready"

"That's what you think. She seems pretty-"

"She's not ready like I said jay"

He nodded in annoyance, "so when will she be ready"

I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know. I'll know when it's time" I answered taking a sip of my margarita grabbing a piece of watermelon off the plate.

"It's time"

"Jay-"

"No bey she's getting closer. She asked me questions. I had to lie to her. You're making me lie to her for your-"

My nostrils flared, "DONT try to walk out here and tell me what's best for my daughter" my jaws clinched, "tell her the truth then jay. Tell her how I'm such a fucked up person huh? Tell her all the damn lies-"

He tried to interrupt me but I deaded the attempt

"That I told her through out her life just to protect her. Tell her how I sent her father away. Tell her how I fucked up and put her in the system. Tell her how much of a bad mother was when she was younger. Tell her everything! You think I enjoy lying to that precious little girl over there?" By the time I was done I was standing up pointing towards jasmine looking my husband deep in his eyes as tears welled up in the bridges of my eyes.

I took a deep breath, "she's happy jay. Just look at her"

He looked pass me and we both seen jasmine laughing and screaming still. she stopped and looked over at us. She waved and we waved back as julez shot her with the water gun. She screamed and chased after him.

I turned back towards my husband, "she's not ready" I mumbled

"No" he cupped my face. I looked up at him, "you're afraid baby. And it's okay it's been what 7 years?"

"8 years. I lost her when she just turned 2" I wiped my fallen tear, "I gave her to mya when she was 4" I bit my lip, "I gave her away Shawn"

"Bey-"

I turned to look at my secret child. My everything, Jasmine. She stopped to smiled and waved at me. I did the same back to her.

"She doesn't deserve me" I whispered. I turned and looked back at jay and he was paying attention, "I am the reason I'm not in her life. I gave mya my rights"

"No you gave mya guardianship" he corrected

"I didn't-"

"No stop it. Stop it right now. You did what you thought was best for her-"

"NO I DID WHAT I THOUGHT WAS BEST FOR ME. I NEVER DID ANYTHING FOR HER! IT WAS ALL BECAUSE I WAS SELFISH. I DIDNT HAVE MYA TAKE CARE OF HER FOR MY CHILD TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS TOO AFRAID OF-"

"Anthony and his family" he finished

"The only reason why I'm alive is because of our children" I sighed

"What children?" I heard a small male voice

"Yea and who are you guys talking about?" Another tiny yet female voice

I turned fully around and seen both jasmine and julez soaked and wet sitting on their towels on the ground. I cleared my throat

"How much did you guys hear"

"All of it" jasmine answered taking a big bite of the pineapple looking at me. I immediately broke eye contact.

Thankfully jay was able to think of a good lie to get the kids to not be so nosey. They both ran into the house because jay promised movie night with cotton candy and s'mores in the backyard. I was a bit jealous because he's never done anything like that with me before.

"And you say I spoil them?" I asked on our way into the house

"No you just almost got caught up" he answered laughing. I rolled my eyes. Yea it was a slip up but Atleast they didn't know I was talking about jasmine specifically.

♦️♦️♦️
How was it?
Why is bey holding back from the truth?
Is jasmine really not ready?
Did jay come through?
How do you feel about beyonce?
Who's your favorite character?
What should happen next?

Vote, comment, share