Getting the Band Back Together

Chapter 15(Brandi's POV) Little Things

(Brandi's POV)

I did not leave America to get away from the past, just to have Mary bring it back. What I did was wrong, but I was young and hurting. I always felt unpretty and that no one actually loved me. The scars on my wrists are gone now, and the scars on my heart only come back temporarily sometimes. Like when Mary brings it up.I know she's just worried. When she found out that it happened, I think it hurt her the worst because we told eachother everything and I didn't show any sign of pain or even a tad bit of sorrow, she just suddenly found out that her best friend/sister didn't think anyone would miss her. I've always felt bad about that, but it's in the past and it's been 5 years since it happened. Geez-2012 to 2017 sure came quick, but Mary still needs to let it go. Lauren always had an easier time being understanding while Mary just got angry and just didn't understand what I was going through. Mary liked to be happy and fix EVERYTHING so that it was happy again. She doesn't let things go unless they're fixed in her mind so I guess thingas aren't fixed yet....after 5 years.

I left the hotel and walked down to the cafe where me and Niall started going out. I don't know what we are now. Since last night, I haven't talked to him., although that might be because it's only 12. Holy geez it's 12 I said looking down at my watch. They might get worried. Or would they. I've been kind of emotional lately and honestly I'm not sure why, I just am. They wouldn't want me around. i totally intruded on Lauren and Mary's original plans. They would have come to Europe alot sooner instead of having to wait on mt to graduate. I guess they wouldn't have met the boys, but still. I shouldn't have come. I should have let Mary and Lauren go on their own and see everything by themselves. They've been friends longer than I've been with them. They deserved to go. I didn't. I deserved to travel Texas where I've always been. i deserved to get dumped at college while my parents took little Cassie anywhere she liked. I was an intrusion to everything. I was the reason my mom and dad got divorced, I was the reason my parents didn't have a lot of money, I was the reason that everything bad happened to my family and friends and myself. If I hadn't ever existed, Mary wouldn't have ever been heart broken to know her best friend was hurting and my mom wouldn't have cried or worried about my weight and Niall-Niall would have met a much better girl than me. A much prettier one. A much more deserving one. I sat at the cafe table outside with tears welling up in my eyes. Maybe I should just go. My mom canbuy my ticket and I'll let the girls travel the world and pretend I never even was there. I stood up and started walking to the park across the street. As I walked, the tears got stronger and my sight was blurred. I knew I was almost to the other side of the street, but not exactly how much further it was. I started running and ran to the fountain in the middle of the park and just sat down and cried. I watched my tears fall into the water infront of me, making ripples in my reflection. My awful reflection. I didn't deserve Niall, I didn't deserve anyone. I deserved to grow old with 30 cats in a hoarders house.

"Brandi?" I heard his Irish accent ring into my ears. I looked up and saw his gorgeous eyes looking down at me. He sat down beside me and put his hand under my chin.

N-"What's wrong?" Words couldn't explain what was wrong. The fact that he cared about me so much seemed wrong to me.

B-"I just, I can't do this." I turned the other way and started getting up to leave, but my hand was gently pulled and I was back on the side of the fountain before I could realize what had happened. Niall got down on his knees infront of me so I couldn't turn away from him anymore. He leaned up and close to my face. I kept looking down as he spoke.

N-"I know what happened back then. I know you don't think you're beautiful, but I do. Words can't describe how amazing you are to me and I've only known you for 4 days. I don't know how or why, all I know is that I have this feeling that we are meant to be together." By now he was holding my hands in his. Mt tears were thick and running down my face. He reached up one hand and using his thumb wiped the salty water from my cheek. He put his hand back in mine and stared into my eyes. He looked over across the park to the guitar player. He stood up and walked over. I continued to sit there and wondered if I should make a break for it and hide again, but I knew it would hurt him so I stayed. I saw his talking the musician and he pointed back to me. I looked down trying to avoid eye contact with the stranger. When I looked back up, Niall was walking over with the man's guitar in his hand and the man was running down the street with a hand full of cash. Which was quite a funny sight. When Niall reached me, he sat down next to me and put the guitar on his knee. He started playing a beautiful tune and singing with his amazing voice.