Nothing Better Than Us.

3.

I was not a teenager anymore; I had no opportunity to stay in bed and cry all day and night. I couldn't allow Kenny to see that. So, instead after David left the room, I had a field time crying in the bathroom; pretending I was having a shower. I know I need to shake this feeling off; I needed to focus on my daughter. I just needed to survive the week; I wouldn't be around them forever. We have gotten this far without Kenny knowing anything about us. She loves her dad even though she really believes that he is her uncle.

But am I being selfish by keeping her away from him? Is she gonna hate me whenever she manages to find out? Am I being selfish for keeping them apart? The decision was not only mine. David was very accepting of it. He didn't even protest the suggestion. He thought that we could make this uncle-niece thing work for them. And I would forget about him and try to forget the feelings we had for each other.

It was easy to let my mind drift back to the days before he proposed to me. In those days, we were happy. In those short days, I felt as if we could actually be a family. But it all ended so quickly because our parents didnt like the idea. But now it's even worse, he has a girlfriend who seems kind with good intentions. I dont have a reason to hate her but I just wish she was not here. I wish that she was being a good person somewhere else. But no, she is here loving on David and my daughter.

The shower seems to be my thinking place as I got up the next morning and didnt even think about making breakfast. Kenny was asleep and I was still overthinking this week.

Maybe I could play along with the mood of the room and ignore my inner frustration. Maybe I could smile with my mother as if I forgave her for her dramatic explosion over the thought of David and I being together. Maybe I could smile and watch my child get along with this stranger. Maybe I could watch my child adore this man who she believes to be her uncle. Maybe I could manage all of this even if I had to run to the bathroom when it got overwhelming and cried. I just need to dust myself off and try harder.

I punched the wall of the shower as the water ran down my body. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was in most unfair situation of my life.

"Mommy!" I turned the shower off and grabbed the towel from the counter. "Mommy, are you in there? Grandma wants to take me in town with her today" What time was it? I looked at my reflection in the mirror. And why didnt grandma come to me herself? Was I really that upset yesterday?

"You need to have a shower first" I got out the tub and made my way to the door which I opened to reveal her deep blue eyes. "And I'll make you breakfast before you leave". I smiled at her and tucked a few loose hair strands behind her ears.

I noticed that she wasn't smiling, in fact, she was gazing at me as if she was searching for something. "Mom, are you okay?"

"Of course" I smiled regardless of the sudden cramp in my stomach. I walked by her and into the room. "Why would you ask that?" I heard when she closed the door and I turned to face her.

"You had a fight with Uncle David last night" Her eyes were not letting up and she did not even approach me. "I knew you were still upset about what happened yesterday so I didn't make it far down the stair when I heard what you were saying" My eyes widened not because she knew we were having a disagreement but because David kept mentioning that he was also her parent.

I looked away from her gaze and sat on the bed. I rubbed the bridge of my nose as I heard her footsteps finally approaching me. "Mom, please dont fight with Uncle David again. I like going to his house. My room there is beautiful and he promised me that he would get me a horse but my horse can't live at your house so Uncle is planning on building a stable" My heart beat sped up as I listened to her and soon her smile popped up along with the enthusiasm that showed in her eyes.