Emptiness Inside Of Me (a Bastille fanfiction)

Chapter 1 - Inner demons

'I think you ought to stay away from here
There are ghosts in the walls
And they crawl in your head through your ear' -La Dispute

~

Don't you ever get that feeling..that awful feeling of not being good enough. There are thoughts that keep you up at night, thoughts that make you cry, make you want to shout out from the bottom of your lungs. You are scared of being left behind, you fear the inevitable oblivion.

"Oh, Daniel. Stop crying. Big boys don't cry." my older sister used to tell me.

I was young, so young. I couldn't even imagine how cruel life is. I didn't even experience true fear, true shame, true pain. But why am I feeling it right now? Why do we all have to grow up? Why does God make us go through painful experiences? Why do we have to solve the Universe's riddles?

I could never answer these questions myself. No one can.

"Are you lost in your thoughts again, Dan?"

I was sitting on the edge of a cliff with my best friend, Kathleen. It was like a tradition for us. Every Sunday we take a trip to the nearest hill around us. We sit there for hours, sometimes speaking, sometimes just staying there quietly admiring the view.

"Just thinking about life.." I told her.

She nodded her head and smiled , inhaling the scent of pine trees and fresh air. Her short brown hair was brushed lightly by the wild wind around us. Her green eyes sparkled of youth and happiness. Her skin was pale as milk and it had millions of freckles all over. She was beautiful and I loved her,but not in the sense of a girlfriend. I loved her like a sister. There was someone else I had a crush on forever and no one, not even Kathleen knows about.

"You know...I'm gonna miss our trips here..." she statted, looking in the horizon.

"Yeah, me too." I said sadly remembering that tomorrow I had to go on tour with my band.

Don't get me wrong - I absolutely adored being in a band, but I loathed being away from home. There's no place like home, right?

"Well, we better go now. You need to pack your stuff." she shifted herself closer to me to fist bump my arm, making me giggle. I nodded and got up. I am going to miss her