When Two Worlds Collide

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Keith has been on edge ever since his late night conversation with Kolivan. He had stayed up late that night cycle on the ship discussing the details of his departure. Kolivan said that they would hone in on the Castle of Lions's locations and come to pick him up within a movement. So that meant he had about a week to pack up all of his things, and say his goodbye or change his mind and no one would ever have to know. But he knew that he had to do this, and that there was no turning back now. That night after he had hung up with Kolivan, Keith had snuck back into his room, he double checked on his way back to make sure that no one woke up. Keith still couldn't sleep, so he got to work on packing all of his things up that he'll need to take with him. Which wasn't really a lot to be honest. All of them came out into space with nothing, but while everyone else has been collecting things along the way, but Keith didn't. He knew part of that reason was all of his time in the system, where he was moved from place to place, and every time that he'd settle in he'd be moved. Subconsciously, he still felt like that with the Team even though they have been around each other long enough to feel like they were a real family. But he couldn't get rid of all that emotional baggage like that and start over brand new.  

At some point Keith did end up crashing in the middle of the night. When he woke up hours later he was on the floor of his room, tangled up in the blanket from his bed. He had no idea how he ended up in this position, but he wasn't in the mood to go and look into it further. Keith was able to get up from the floor and moved to go and make up his bed. Cleaning and making sure that everything was neat and tidy was one of the things that helped Keith calm down. After finding out about his carrier status, Keith went and did some more research into it. He found that most all of Garlan carriers were very territorial, and liked to 'nest.' Which meant that they liked their areas clean, homey, and smelling like their families, or their 'pack.' And that explained a lot about Keith's behaviors, and how sometimes he just went nuts when things got too chaotic around him. From all of the research that he did, he found that carriers needed a sense of stability in their lives, a routine, especially in their younger years for them to grow up without any problems or behavioral issues. And everything just clicked inside Keith's mind when he read that. It explains why he had so many issues with his foster families and being moved around so much between homes and group homes. It meant that he wasn't a trouble maker, or delinquent, he just couldn't handle all of the changes, and no one at the time was really willing to help him out.

He ended up spending most of the day locked up in his room. Keith wasn't really hungry, and he had a bathroom attached to his room, so he didn't need to leave. He knew that the reason that he wasn't going out was because he was nervous. He knew that if he went out there right now, and faced all of them that he would spill his guts right then and there. He didn't want to see the disappointed looks until he absolutely had too, he knew that he couldn't live with the guilt for that long. So he wasn't planning on telling anyone until either the day of or the day before he leaves. He knows that it sounds bad, and that the rest of the Team deserve better than that, but every time he tries to go and talk about it, his words just get stuck in his throat. It's like that he can't talk and the more that he tries to push them out of the way, the harder that it is for him to breathe. And before he knows it, he's on the floor of his room in the middle of a huge panic attack. So, he's going to do this his way, even if it may be seen as the coward's way out, that's the only way that he can do it. He just hopes that they all have it in him to forgive him for this, even though he doesn't deserve it. He knows that if the positions were reversed then he knew that he would probably be way less forgiving.

Later that evening, Keith finally worked up the courage to leave his room. He still moved his head to check both ways to see if there was anyone else out. He knew that this was a little over the top at the moment, but he was really trying to avoid all of the Team that he could. The one person that he was trying to avoid the most was Lance. He knew that if the Cuban male cornered him, Keith would be spilling his guts in a matter of seconds. And that was a whole other can of worms that Keith really wasn't too into opening at the moment, if ever at all. So Lance was a big no no for him. But there was one certain Paladin that he needed to find and talk to before he left. Even though Keith wasn't as close to him as he was to either Shiro or Lance but he was one that Keith could trust completely. He knew that Hunk was a good man, and a good friend. He's been Lance's best friend and confidant for years, and Lance always brags about Hunk's listening skill and his good heart. Keith knew that he could go and talk to Hunk and confide in him some things that he's been meaning to get off of his chest, and ask a really huge favor. Hunk wouldn't judge him or make fun of him for what's on his mind and the way that he has trouble expressing his feelings through words or at all. He just had to track him down and find him first. Keith just hopes that this doesn't turn out to be one of those easier said than done situations.