The Next Chapter of Our Lives

Chapter 22

A week had passed, and I was growing tired of wearing a mask day in and day out. In my mind, I screamed and cursed at the world, I broke down and cried and hurt, yet on the outside, I smiled and kept composure. With practiced ease, I kept from flinching at every touch.

Mom stayed to help out with Marisol and my incident, some part of my subconscious told me that it actually because she had nowhere to go.

My mind became a prison that sucked everything out of me, leaving me empty. More than several times, I saw Apollo narrow his eyes at me as if he could see through my acts. Gods, I nearly slipped every time. I wanted to bawl while he held me close, but I didn't want to be a burden. Instead, I tried and failed to ignore the habits burned into my brain during my teenage years.

My nights were restless too. Plagued by constant nightmares, I would carefully slip out of bed without waking my sleeping husband and do something that would distract me. Sometimes, I would watch over Marisol, and sometimes I would run or fly around. One time, I was training with one of my newer Chaotic Silver daggers, and I accidentally cut myself. Oh, gods, it hurt so much, but I couldn't find myself to care. It burned, sure, but I felt like it was what I deserved. I felt like I was this disgusting, vile creature that didn't deserve a place in this universe. My silver blood spilled on the grass, it's power causing it to wilt. I controlled the metallic substance to stop before hitting the ground. After a few minutes, I saw that dawn would come soon and hurriedly healed the wound. I quietly vapor traveled to my room and got back in bed.

I lost my appetite too. Mom would make something for me to eat, and I wouldn't be able to eat it. In portions, I would make it disappear into some tupperware that I had taken to hiding in my room, then, later on, I would hand it to the homeless. Due to me not eating, I was running purely off of Primordial energy.

Being pent up, I wrote tons of songs, some were solos, and some of them were for the band. I practiced in the backyard too. I had animated dummies and practiced with those. I also practiced using the powers that I was growing into, such as dimension-hopping. Naturally, I visited the universe with the Winchesters that we see on TV, word of advice, don't go unprepared. RIPTIDE DIDN'T WORK! There were many worlds that Chaos didn't want me to go to without her, so I invited her over. That was a good day.

Slowly, more weeks passed, and while Apollo stuck to an almost strict schedule, there was one day where he didn't. After sunrise, Apollo would come home, then leave later on to set the sun. As soon as sunset was finished, he would be back. This time, however, he wasn't home until the sun rose the next morning.

My mind was racing, fueled by worry and irrational thoughts. Still, the part of my subconscious that whispered disturbing thoughts plagued my weak self-esteem.

Maybe he doesn't love you anymore. It told me. I denied it. I had to, right? He's my husband, he has to love me!

That part of me retaliated. That was probably true at one point in time. Now, you're just a vile creature. You don't deserve anything you have, in fact, your place was where you were 5 weeks ago, in that shed being used. Why'd you ever escape? You got what you deserved.

I screamed and cursed in my mind. My powers finally slipped up, and soon enough, the room was trashed. Books were strewn about, clothes were all over the floor, water even flooded the place. I looked at the mess and ultimately broke. I sat on my bed with my head in my hands as my shoulders shook with silent sobs.

Sobs racked my body until the sun was high in the sky, and Apollo came home. I didn't notice, though. I didn't realize that there was sunlight flooding in through the window ever so slowly. I didn't hear the front door open, or the voices downstairs.