I'm (Not) Allow to Love You // 널 사랑할 수 없(있)어

I'm (Not) Allow to Love You Part 13

Set up your music player, find the song and listen while you read the part of the story of this novel.

Song list:

1. WANNA ONE – I.P.U Confession Version

2. Henry – It's You

3. NU'EST – Love Without Love 사랑 없는 사랑

4. YookSungjae – Loving You Again또 사랑하고 만다

5. DGNA – Lucky Man 행운안

6. Yoo Seonho – Maybe Spring봄이 오면

7. STRAY KIDS – Neverending Story끝나지 않을 이야기

8. Eric Nam & CHEEZE – Perhaps Love사랑인가요

9. Rainbow – Pretend보고 싶었단 그 말도

10. GB9 – Propose프로포즈

MIN DONGHYUN'S POV

No, reject me ... surely what I saw was wrong.

"Donghyun-ah."

"Yes, mom?"

I ran from my room to the kitchen. It looks like mom is preparing lunch.

"I heard Chungdae was sick and he is alone. Will you deliver this food to him? Mom actually wants to go to his place but you know mom has a meeting after this, "explained my mom with a worried face.

"Yes mom, I will deliver it."

I took the bag and immediately go down through the fire escape stairs. Maybe it's because the tournament yesterday that has used up his energy. It's been raining a lot lately and yesterday night I met him downstairs, it looks like he was getting rained on. I pressed the code for the door to his apartment which I had memorized it clearly. Maybe he's sleeping, I don't want to disturb him. But there are women's shoes here, who is coming? Eh, then the door to his room is open?

"Did you imagine me?"

I was curious who was visiting, but I could only see the woman's rear figure. The woman sat on Chungdae hyong's bed and has long shoulder-length hair.

"Because I can imagine noona in a wedding dress."

Then suddenly Chungdae pulled the woman's hand and he kissed her! And that's when I could catch a glimpse of her face. That's miss Baek! what are they doing? I ran quickly left the place. I don't want to see its continuance.

I sat on a bench in the garden of our apartment. It turned out that their closeness was that far. But I am not willing. I don't want to see miss Baek is being with Chungdae hyong. That makes no sense.

가슴이 말하는데

My heart is telling me
두 눈이 말하는데

My eyes are telling me
난 다시 또 거짓말을 해

But once again, I lie

눈물만 남길까 봐

In case only tears will remain
니가 더 아플까 봐

In case you will hurt even more
널 찾는 숨겨둔 내 맘 위에

On top of my hidden heart that looks for you
그리움만 덧칠을 해

I coat on more longing

이 비가 되어네 곁에 내리고 싶어

I want to become this rain and fall down by your side
그치지 않는 내 맘만큼

As much as my heart won't stop
너를 채울수록난 무너지겠지만

The more you fill me, the more I'll break down
또 널 사랑하고 만다

But I can't help but love you again

바라만 봐도눈물이 나는 널

Just looking at you brings tears to my eyes
시리도록 아픈 널

You give me so much pain that it's numb
단 하루만단 한번만이라도

But just for one day, just once
내 품에 안고 싶어

I want to hold you in my arms

(YookSungjae – Loving You Again또 사랑하고 만다)

I don't know how much time I spent brooding on a park bench. Suddenly I heard the steps and half hiding behind the bench, I saw Miss Baek come out accompanied by Chungdae hyong.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you to the station?"

"You need to rest and tomorrow you have to go to school," shouted miss Baek.

"Alright sonsaengnim," laughed Chungdae hyong, "send me a message noona."

"Yes yes. Bye. "

Miss Baek smiled and waving at Chungdae hyong. And my heart hurts to see her smile that is very bright. Chungdae hyong reentered the apartment. I looked at the lunch bag I'm still holding. However I have to deliver it. I went back up and press the bell of his apartment.

"Noona I just sent a message to you, did you miss ..." Chungdae hyong opened the door, "oh, Donghyun?"

"Who are you referring to?"

"I thought you are my guest. Why don't you just go in as usual? "

"Ah, I just want to deliver this from my mom," I said, handing him a lunch bag.

"Oh actually I feel pretty good but say thank you to your mother, okay," Hyong said looking happy, "want to go in and play? Let's battle. "

"No hyong, I'll leave after this. So ... get better soon. "

"Yes. Thank you, Donghyun! "

I went back to my apartment. I don't want to just give up.

***

The butterfly effect which I feel until now really makes me weird. I can't stop thinking about Chungdae since ... what happened yesterday. I guess I'm really in love with him. But what should I do? Surely our relationship will not be approved by anyone.

"Noona ya!"

My heart almost jumped out. Chungdae ran around cheerfully and approaching me. I see the situation around that is still quiet. Luckily no one heard and see this. I hit his arm.

"Are you crazy?"

"I'm not crazy, I'm just happy to see noona again."

"This is at school, don't call me noona!"

"There's no one here, noona."

He stuck out his tongue and run away slowly.

"That will be a habit later! Ya! Wait for me!"

I laughed while chasing him. It feels that I'm 10 years younger than my age now. Well, I suppose I was much younger.

***