my diary

true to myself

for the past few months i have been insanely struggling with feeling comfortable within myself. i knew that i was bisexual and had finally become fully accepting of that, but i still just didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. some days i just didn't feel like me and didn't feel like i was my true self. about a month ago i finally realized why i felt so misplaced.

i embrace my femininity, i absolutely adore it if i am being honest. occasionally though, i don't feel myself as being a girl and i even conflict with it. sometimes i wake up and forget that i have certain parts on my body until i look in the mirror. i struggled, for an entire month, battling whether or not what i was feeling was real because i take these things very seriously.

last week i took a lot of time to self evaluate myself, and really understand what i was feeling inside of my body. i finally came to terms that i do not just love my femininity but my masculinity as well. i knew deep down that this is who i am and how i was made.

today i finally pushed through my anxiety and told one of my very best friends about it and came out. i expected her to hate me and push me away, but she did the exact opposite. she told me how proud she was of me and how happy she was that i was figuring myself out. because of her acceptance, i finally have the courage to come out to all of you! my anxiety is still telling me that i will get hate for this, but i am doing my best to put myself out there.

i am a bisexual and gender fluid and that's completely okay! i still lean mostly towards she/her pronouns but i also like they/them pronouns too!

this is a huge step for me, but i know that this is a very accepting community and i feel safe here.

thank you flvwerjoon for always accepting me for who i am. i love you so much. 💗