Poems of a Neurotic Insomniac

Sand Dunes

I constantly find myself
avoiding my ​friends & family​—
the rocks​ of my life.
I neglect
the things I care for
like my religion,
my compassion, &
my health​.​
I have buried these—
and many others—
in sand.

This ​sand​
covers everything
I care about
as well as
the stepping stones
that lead to them.
Useless things
like video games,
laziness, &
pettiness
have no purpose
except to waste
limited time.
Wallowing in my own
self-pity​
only serves to grow
the dune
that covers the only things
that give me purpose.

I could
try to dig up
these stepping stones
that lead me
to my rocks.

I could
try harder
to go to ​school​
& do what I am expected
to do.

I could
stop calling in,
smile, &
serve
like I was hired
to do.​

I could
draw,
write, &
bake​
like I used
to do.

I could
play songs
I had once enjoyed
on the ​piano.​

I could
try to find all of these
pebbles​—
these stepping stones—
& do all the things
I once loved to do,
but I don't.

I just lie down
on this sandy hill
& just
let
myself
sink.

I want
to have purpose.

I want
to do the things
I once enjoyed &
spend time with the people
I care for.

I want
to build a life
for myself
by going to school &
by going to work.

I want
to actually try
to do all of these things
so I can help others
escape
their sand dunes
before they
sink
in
too
deep.

I just have to climb out of my own first.