pretty when she cries ; fitz

chapter one

she just wanted to know why.

she stared blankly at the floor, spacing off in between her feet. her coach and the team therapist went back and forth, their voices never raising up into an argument. there was nothing to argue about. they weighed all of the possible options, setting each gently on a scale and conversationally exploring every inch of them. a decision needed to be made, but words failed her, they seemed to fall short. a frog was lodged, stuck, and ribbeting in her throat.

the coach walked around the desk and put her hand on amalie's shoulder.

"the team and i will always be there for you," she tightened her grip, her nails dug into the blue cotton sweatshirt a little bit. she looked up at her. "you know that, right?" water started to brim the coach's eyes.

amalie's lip started to quiver, as it did when her emotions were running high. she bit her lip, trying to dismiss the sadness that bubbled inside of her.

"but...we think it might be best if you took some time to cope with this." the coach wiped underneath her nose and sniffled. "you need to. and i know you know that."

part of her knew that her coach was correct. their team had formed such an unbreakable bond, a fortress of sisters that would ride through the treacherous night for one another. through rain, though snow, through fire. amalie squeezed her eyes, tightly until her nose scrunched. tears fleshed out from the corners of her eyes, rolling down her cheeks like an avalanche.

the other side of her wanted to disagree. amalie had sacrificed her entire life to make her dreams into a vivacious reality. wherever she ended up now, she would still be ripping at the seams. but the therapist was right; the last thing amalie needed was the extra stress of school and soccer to pile even heavier burdens on her.

"the school will do everything they can to accommodate you," the therapist began. "your uncle reached out that he wants you with him for the time being. i think that should be your next move here, amalie. we'll pay for your flight, we'll ship all of your belongings. anything that you need, we will do it for you."

she let her lip quiver again, but this time her teeth forgot to prevent it. she dropped her head down, it falling into her lap. multiple painful, muffled sobs left the poor and scrawny girl. the coach squatted down beside her, rubbing circles into amalie's back. the color of the walls matched the clothing the three were adorned in; that sweet, north carolina baby blue. her fingers pulled the elastic of her nike socks away from her skin, her eyes focusing on the small hairs growing from their pores. she let the material go, it slapping back against her ankle over and over again. all while the tears escaped her, falling to the crevices of her lips and slipping off her chin.

after a few moments, amalie sat back up into her chair. she used her sleeves to rub her face. the coach grabbed the tissue box from the mahogany table and held it out to her. she pulled a white square from the cardboard, pinching the sides of her nose and blowing out more sorrow. she tried to widen her eyes, but they and her nose as well were too swollen.

"you want to go see your uncle, am?" mrs. kristof awaited a final answer.

amalie sighed, dipping her head once more, glancing in between her shoes again. as she met the therapist's gaze, amalie nodded.

"okay," the coach ran her fingers through amalie's brunette hair. "come on, let's go."

the coach pulled her up from where amalie was melting into the leather of the chair. mrs. kristof came around the other side of her table, puffing her chest and placing her hands around the sides of amalie's shoulders. she pulled her in close, amalie smelling the lingering scent of coffee and cheap perfume. she sucked in her tears that threatened to fall again. the two of similar height stepped away.