pretty when she cries ; fitz

chapter twenty

for the brunette, climbing into bed that night was a blessing and a curse.

swagger had so kindly let the two of them take refuge in his bedroom, offering to blow up their air mattress and sleep in the living room instead.

mason tried to explain to his friends the best he could of the situation, notifying that neither the nurse nor amalie explained what had happened. the only thing he did know was that cal was--was dead.

the roof seemed to have caved in over them, an unforgivable wrath of disbelief and silence designated in the very air they breathed.

in their drunken and high states this did not settle well. there was an explosive amount of shock weighing their beings down into the couches they sat in. the roof seemed to have caved in over them, their feet sinking levels below the wooden floor.

mason had taken a seat and cleared his throat and jerked his head from side to side. all eyes were on him. they before the boy started to explain, they called matt back into the room.

"...and that's all i know, uh. yeah." his voice got caught, and he brought his fist towards his mouth. he bit at his knuckles trying to distract himself from crying. as he was coming down from his high, he felt jittery. mason's deeply-embedded paranoia convinced him that the roof was actually going to cave in on them all.

it was almost as if it was a simulation, because it couldn't be true. it just couldn't. swagger felt like he was out of his own body, staring down into the room.

"it's a prank, right?" swagger stood up, his voice stern. mason dropped his head, his shoulders curling over his lap. "mason if this is a fucking joke, it's not a fucking funny one." he walked towards mason with heavy steps. "huh? is it? fess up! this isn't something to fucking joke about!"

swagger had stopped in front of him, waiting for a response.

"can you fucking look at me, please? or just use your mouth and say fucking something?"

"swagger--" toby started.

"no! it's a prank, he's laughing. see? look at him. look!" swagger turned his head and pointed at mason.

mason picked up his head, tears streaming down his face. swagger had thought the small heaving cries coming out of him were chuckles, but they were actually quite the opposite.

"god...i wish...it was a fuckin' joke." mason wailed between his sobs. he pulled his knees up towards his chest and rocked back and forth in his seat. swagger sat down next to him immediately, regretting getting so angry. mason wheezed for air. "i-i, i fucking saw her in the hospital--it was bad, it was so bad!" spit had piled in the corners of his mouth but he tried to suck it back in before it ran down his chin.

the rest of them sat in silence, some staring far into the distance and some watching mason's meltdown. but they all wrestled the sadness in their bodies that the terrible news had brought to them.

three days later, amalie had eventually given her friends the story. in broken, sobbing pieces. though they had clarity, it was hard to believe that what happened was real. amalie hadn't talked in days, the memory of it all replaying over and over again in her head. but she knew it was unfair to keep them all in the dark. they deserved to know. 

for the next two months, the misfits announced that they would be taking a hiatus, via a livestream titled, "a tribute to callahan bates". 

cal's fanbase was heartbroken, but because they were such a great support system they did everything they could to comfort those who were personally affected. donations upon donations piled in on the screen, fan art honoring cal's impactful legacy was sent in here there and everywhere. their condolences were overwhelmingly appreciated.