pretty when she cries ; fitz

chapter twenty-two

amalie had high hopes of rekindling her spirit.

but as the summertime droned on, she grew lonely in a community full of people who were only supportive of her situation. 

she'd gotten her old job back at her mother's bar, earning good money and a large bonus from tips. a lot of people that came in knew her, and would slip her $20-$50 in pocket cash. 

but it was pity. 

it was like every corner she turned, there was just a reminder of the past everywhere. 

but looking beyond the constant pity party, amalie's life was as normal as it was going to get. she'd gotten in touch with her old high school friends and hit it off all over again. they'd helped amalie repaint her house, and sell the other cars. she'd decided on keeping her mother's mercedes and her father's old convertible (it was his prized possession). there was no need in keeping her brother's car, nor her own. 

her old friend group invited them to the lake with them, and she'd gone once after being begged. and it was hard to admit, but amalie had a lot of fun. it was challenging for her to find the same level of mutuality that her and the misfits shared. 

but though she had maintained a semi-normal life, the brunette went to bed at night with the feeling that a piece of her was missing. and there was. 

there had been one to many instances where she'd gone to to call cal but she quickly remembers that her friend is no longer around. and her heart breaks a little every single time it happened. she just wanted to tell the sweet dirty blonde about her adaptation to life on her own. 

she did keep her promise to toby and posted on her instagram almost every other week. nothing special, just quick photos of her running errands or doing daily deeds. 

but they did end up losing touch. that was inevitable and had been expected since amalie left.

and of course, once in a while, they'd reach out or vice versa. they'd snapchat, but just send random pictures back in forth, no conversation being exchanged. 

when mason asked to facetime, she would always deny, as much as it hurt her to do so. she knew she didn't want to get mason's hopes up that she would come back or something. the guilt ate at her. 

but there was never a single moment where cameron wasn't running around her head. 

she'd still been having her good and bad days, as everyone experiences. but for some reason recently, amalie had been going through the works. 

at the bar, she just couldn't seem to do anything right. she'd dropped five glasses only within her last shift (four too many to be an accident). the new owner had given the brunette the upper hand, but her mistakes were just to common to let them go unnoticed. 

after work the night before, an old man had been waiting outside near her car. thankfully the new owner, mr. ragler, hadn't left yet and was able to smooth out the interaction before it could see the light of escalation. 

so basically, amalie was at a point where she felt like she was just going through the motions. and that had scared her. 

wake up, go for a run, practice soccer, go to work, come home, go to bed, repeat. 

and so that mid-afternoon before work, she calls him. as much as her mind tells her not to, but she does anyway. 

it's the middle of the night for him, but he wakes up by the third ring and takes her call in shock. 

"um, hey?" he answered, his voice raspy. 

"hi. i'm not really sure why i called, i just did. i don't know. i'm sorry, you were asleep--"

"no, it's okay." he reassures her. there was a small shuffling on the other end, but he'd just sat up in his bed. 

"i guess i just wanted to hear your voice," she smiled, pacing around the island in the kitchen. she held her phone up to her right ear, her left arm tucked under her right armpit. 

cam laughed and sighed on the other end.

"i miss you too, cowgirl. i think about you frequently," he admitted. "all the time, actually." his husky voice sent chills down her spine. 

he had finally fallen into a deep sleep for the first time in the past month and a half. but he decided not to tell her that, to save her from feeling bad. 

"you've been keeping your promise," he pointed out, referring to her social media activity. the misfits had all been watching her life from a distance. 

"yeah, i have. i've been trying." she agrees, "i invested in twitch, actually. so i can watch you all when you go live." 

"have you now?" his face grew warm at the new information. 

"yes, i have. i've still been catching up on the work i missed, but the dj stream you did the other night was really enjoyable to listen to while i studied." which this was true, it almost made her feel as if he was right there with her. 

he was silent on the other end.

"hello?" she calls out, her heart drooping. her eyebrows pushed towards the ceiling, the skin on her forehead creasing. 

finally, he cleared his throat.

"i'm, uh, happy it was a good background noise. just a new hobby, i guess. my brother gave me his old stuff." his response was delayed and it was obvious he was focused on something else. "sorry, when you were talking i was looking up flights to tennessee."

"cam...i don't think that's the best idea--"

"why? we both miss each other." he passively spat. "we both miss each other, but neither of us have done anything about it. so instead of making more excuses, i'm actually going to do something about it."

she opened her mouth and started to protest, but he hums her out as he purchases his ticket online.

"i've never been to tennessee," he said. "hopefully it will make a good impression on me."