Shades

Chapter 12

Ame froze at the question. What the heck was 'how did this all start' supposed to mean? There could be so many things he was talking about.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean the eyes, the episodes, all of that." Russia stated. Ame felt himself tense up. No one truly knew what happened to America when he had been taken, other than himself, but he never talked about it. Whenever someone would ask he would freeze up and wouldn't respond.

"Ask someone else." He mumbled under his breath. Russia rose a brow, unable to tell what Ame had said because he was mumbling.

"Ame, I'm sorry but what was tha-"

"Please don't ask. If you want to know, ask Canada." Ame said. "Please and thank you." The room went silent. Russia didn't mean to offend Ame, after all they were best friends...with benefits.

"I'm sorry." He said, looking away towards the floor. Ame sighed.

"It's fine, what time is it by the way? Does my family know when they will be able to pick me up? When did I change clothes?" Ame said, so many things on his mind at the moment.

"It's 5:30 ish, they said that they would try to come tomorrow because the storm was going to last all night. And umm..." Russia felt his face go red. "I had to give you a bath because you were covered in mud. I didn't take your boxers off I promise! Just he rest of your clothes, they are currently in the dryer." He explained. Both of their faces were a deep red.

"Oh." Ame said. "Well thanks for keeping my boxers on I guess." He said awkwardly, then it hit him. If Russia had taken off the rest of his clothes he would have seen the scars.

"Ummm, you okay Ame?" Russia said, tapping Ame's shoulder to get his attention.

"S-sorry just spaced out..." he said.

"Well we should probably eat. Also, you good just sleeping in those clothes?" Russia asked, grabbing the tray off of the bedside table and handing a bowl of borscht soup. Ame smiled.

"Okay, Thank you." He said. Russia nodded.

"No problem." It was quiet as the two ate.

"Russia?"

"Yeah?"

"If I have an...episode, hold me down. Don't worry about hurting me." Ame said.

"What?" Russia said, confused.

"I'll have an episode, you'll hear it. Wake me up. When I wake up I can't control what I'm doing, and I've been known to be violent. So just hold me down. If it's a bad one, a black substance will fall from my mouth and eyes. If that happens just get me to the bathroom and let me cough it up into the toilet." Ame explained. Russia sat there, trying to memorize everything he needed to do.

"Um, can you write all the dawn please?" Russia asked, not trying to be rude. Ame nodded. Russia handed him a notepad and a pen. He watched as Ame write down everything he might need to do. It amazed him how well the country could do things despite not being able to see.

"Hey Ame, I know you already answered this at the sleepover we had at the beginning of the year but it looked like there was something else you wanted to say. What do you miss not being able to see?" Russia asked. Ame paused, and set the pen and notepad aside.

"There is only one thing I wanted to see after it happened." He said. Russia scooted closer.

"I just wanted to see Nada's smile. Just one last time. That's all I wanted, just to see my little bro happy. I feel terrible about it all." Ame continued. "He has to put up with all of my crap and gets nothing in return. I feel like I'm just a burden to him. Not only me but he also has to take care of Aussie and Kiwi when mom and dad can't. He just has to deal with so much, he's practically set his life aside for me and it's just not fair for him. I don't deserve him." Ame said, a few tears falling down his face.

Them Russia started to think about it. Canada really has set his life aside for his brother. He never really complained about anything, was always asking if Ame was okay or how he was feeling.

"Ame, don't tell yourself that. Also, he doesn't get nothing in return." Russia said, putting his hand on Ame's shoulder.

"He gets to be with you, the greatest person in the world, all the time." Russia said, wearing a warm smile, even if Ame couldn't see it. He wrapped his arms around Russia's neck as Russia wrapped his around Ame's waist.

"I love you Russ,"

"I love you too."

— — —

Russia opened his eyes as he heard something shuffling around. At first he was confused until he remembered what America had told him. He shot upwards and started to shake Ame.

"Ame wake up! Ame!" He whisper yelled. Eventually Ame opened his eyes. Russia stared into them, it was odd, like he was just staring into a black void. Ame Russia noticed that Ame started gagging.

Shit! Shit! Shit!He thought, picking Ame up and running to the bathroom. He turned on the light and opened the toilet lid to let Ame barf into the toilet. Russia turned around, closed and locked the door. He sighed, grimacing at the sound of Ame barfing. Russia slowly turned his head to get a glimpse of the source of the horrific sounds. Ame was in pain, there was no doubt about it. You could tell by his facial expression. Russia felt his heart shatter as he saw Ame turn his head and look at Russia. Ame looked so full of despair, just wanting the pain to end. He looked so desperate for the pain to stop.

Russia hadn't noticed till now that he had started crying. It pained him to see Ame at such a low point. It almost didn't seem real, Ame was always there to put a smile on his face.

How could such an amazing kid live in such a troubled world and pretend to be okay?

— — — — —

Hello amazing people, how's life? I hope it is well.

Probably going to do some art for this chapter so go look in my art book for that...it'll be there eventually.

Stay safe out there.

Have a lovely day because you deserve it.