Problem 11: THERE'S ONLY loads of football teams...

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by gaypexlegends

by gaypexlegends

We really love football over here. (Or soccer if you're American but like it's football deal with it!)

Me and my family support a team called Sheffield Wednesday (The Owls) whose rival team is Sheffield United (The Blades) and let's just say the rivalry is pretty big.

The World Cup is a stressful time for us as England to shit everytime but we still think they are going to do amazing and put up England flags everywhere! On our houses, cars, even our pets! But as soon as they are out of the cup we take down our flags and put our football songs CD back in the corner until the next time they are playing.

Lets not forget that over here, football is all about money and basically gives morality a big 'fuck you!' whilst it is eating it's seventh Pukka Pie and on it's third pint of beer.

You see our footballers have done some things. John Terry, former England captain cheated with one of his friend's wife. There's Steven Gerrad. Gary Madine, Rio Ferdinand and a whole lot more footballers who have been charged with assualt and don't get me started on Ched Evans (if you want to know about what that bastard did then you can google it because I could write a 12 page essay about what he did it and why he should still be in jail) I feel sorry for Theo Walcott who just wants to play football.

We also had a bad incident to with the football ground that the team I support play at. This happened in 1989 and is known as the Hillsborough Disaster where during a FA Cup semi final between Liverpool and Nottingham Forrest, 96 people were killed because people trampled on them and the police are mostly to blame. (Again, if you want to learn more then google Hillsborough Disaster)

Also, you should go to a football match in England because it is a sight to see. White middle aged men shouting at younger, better looking lads that are kicking a football whilst most of them are drunk and swearing even though there are children at the same match. Also the chants that they have are cool, like for Sheffield Wednesday, one of them "If you don't fucking bounce, if you don't fucking bounce then you're a blade (a Sheffield United fan)" and the Wednesday fans just start bouncing.