SWEATER PAWS | CSCOOP X READER (completed)

may

friday, may 18th, 2020. 3:45 am.
cooper

cooper has gotten a lock for his room. occasionally, he let it loose, but otherwise, he isolated himself inside for god knows how long without leaving.

the boys text him, but to no avail. they brought him food, took care of him, and spammed his discord for him to go outside.

there was a night which carson spent the entirety of sitting outside cooper's room, leaning on his door for all 12 hours. if anybody could understand how cooper felt, it was the remaining blonde with glasses, whom felt it was his responsibility to get him out.

"cooper please, just listen to me," carson shouts through the door.

"fuck off! i don't want you here! leave me alone!" cooper yells back, slamming his foot against the door, shaking up carson from his weary state.

"i understand how it feel-"

"you don't understand jack shit, carson! she's gone, and it's my fault - i ruined everything! so fuck off with you and your 'understand' bullshit!"

carson went quiet. he switches from his standing stance to a crouching one, sliding his back against the door and leaning.

after a few minutes, he pipes up again.

"cooper, could you do me a favor?"

silence.

"come with me to therapy."

and so he did, and cooper hated every single second of it. he was locked inside in an unfamiliar place, being forced to spill his guts to a stranger.

he left about an hour early from the two-hour session, painting an unwelcoming scowl to whoever tried to approach him. with a little packet of calming pills and the words 'depression' and 'anxiety' spinning around his head, he came back home, ignoring the hopeful, pity smiles he received from his roommates.

shutting the door and locking it, he jumps onto his bed, throwing the pill packet behind the headboard.

it was already late in the evening, and the only thing left in his routine now was to visit (y/n) again.

he began to think - of their first date, first kiss, first 'i love you'. he thought of the time they took photos in a field of flowers and the countless times he threw her into the icy cold water at the beach.

was it a bad idea? throwing away the pills?

i don't care. i shouldn't care, anyway.

you're gone, and nothing could help that but time, right? time heals.

time heals everything.

and i hate it.

cooper didn't fall asleep until 5 am that morning, looking intently through the photos that he couldn't manage to delete off his phone quite yet.

that's how he's been sleeping.

i mean, i guess it's bad that i don't sleep all that much, but for me, the core point of sleeping is to dream, and whenever i'm awake, i think of you.

you feel like a dream, or an awful nightmare. i'm not sure which one yet.

i've been awfully poetic lately. maybe it's the therapy - i went today. maybe it's because i'm going crazy. i was never a poetic type of guy.

you were very poetic.

maybe one day i'll be like you.