SWEATER PAWS | CSCOOP X READER (completed)

october

thursday, october 15th, 2020. 12:22 pm.
cooper

cooper brought his knees up to his chest, examining the floor before him. he reached to his side to draw the curtain closed, coughed into his fist, and began again.

"hey guys, it's me, cooper. i know that i've been away for quite some time and i'm really sorry - i've just been dealing with a few..things..lately.." he trails off in his speech and ultimately stops talking, sighing and looking at the camera. this was his fifth take, if not his sixth, and he still couldn't manage to properly sit and talk to a virtual audience. thankfully, he wasn't streaming, but this seemed just as hard, especially with his face in the frame.

his mind was running elsewhere, boiling with the thoughts of youtube, (y/n), and the boys all filming downstairs, and what it would be like to be present online again. he tried to film another take, but that one didn't do him any good either. with a roll of his eyes he unplugs his microphone and just as he was about to shut off the camera, he notices something in the viewfinder. he looks at himself, and at his background, as bittersweet tears begin to well in his eyes. he missed this so much - interacting with people, being surrounded by banter and support, almost as much as he missed (y/n). he saw a pile of her sweaters on his bed behind him, and sobbed just a little more at all the times that she sat in the bed behind him, watching him play for countless hours, always bringing him snacks, kissing his cheek, and massaging his neck once she noticed it got tense.

he quickly shut off the camera, and crawled on top of his bed. after a few moments, cooper took out his phone, pressed play on a spotify playlist with comforting sad songs, and began to rearrange all that was hers.

the sweaters, her rings and necklaces that he bought for her, certain polaroids. some of them he had hung elsewhere around the room, helping him remember her in a bright light wherever he was. her parents even gave some of her older photos to cooper to aid him reminisce. he thought about it now, realizing that it wasn't his best decision to take them and plaster them around his walls, and carried them over to where he sat.

he looked through each memory, each date, each little scenario and moment that both of them captured in photos. there was so much love flowing through their bones on each picture - it was impossible to think that it wouldn't last.

with a painful and quick swish of a hand, everything that was once hers now belonged in a box that would sit in the corner of cooper's room until he was ready to face them again; to face her. he placed it down inside his closet afterwards and hid his hands in his own hoodie, wiping the remainder of the stinging tears that still, unconsciously, seemed to trickle gently down his cheeks.

he smiled, thinking of a joke that (y/n) used to make about having a cooper shrine in her room from all the stuff he gave to her constantly. suddenly, a little laugh erupted from the boy.

he stood still, acknowledging his situation.

he laughed, for the first time in months.

later that night, the idea of taking a proper, half-hour long shower struck his mind. he exited out of the shower, brushed his hair and dried it, properly laying it down. he stood, staring at himself in the mirror, a shiver being sent down his spine from the breeze of the slightly open door beside him. he wasn't as skinny as he used to be.

within a few moments, cooper was quick in bed. he was in his basketball shorts and a shirt that was previously his dad's, and reached for his phone on the bedside cabinet. instead, he felt the pill packet that was given to him once again by his assigned doctor.

he took it and opened it, and placed a little pill under his tongue. as it dissolved, he checked his phone, set his alarm to 10 o'clock, and closed his eyes.

that night he actually managed to fall asleep.