The Living Dead (Tragic Story #2)

Chapter 17

Us

Matuling lumipas ang mga buwan.

I was in the library, trying to put all the lessons for the past months inside my brain. Finals are fast approaching and I haven't studied anything at all. Though there are lessons I can still clearly recall but it will be safe if I study them back to zero.

Books are all over my table. My notes are scattered everywhere in it. I owned this space because this spot is far from the sea of people who are also busy studying. I was with Susana and Moises.

Tahimik lang din silang nagbabasa sa mga librong kanina ay hiniram sa Librarian. Sumulyap ako sa seryosong si Susana. Hindi nagbago ang pakikitungo niya sa akin pagkatapos ng gabing iyon. Gaya pa rin ng dati na hindi mo malaman kung kaibigan ba talaga ang turing sayo o hindi. Para sa akin, plastic siya dahil alam kong ayaw niya akong kausapin pero kinakausap pa rin.

I was ready to judge her but I came to think of my pretentious self. Hindi ba ay ang pagiging huwad sa sarili ay pagiging plastic na rin? Kunwari okay ka. Kunwari hindi ka naapektuhan. Pero sa pinaka lilim ng iyong kalooban, kabaliktaran ng ipinapakita mo.

For me, it is the most dangerous thing a person can do. Your actions, that are not in accordance with your true emotion are something to be attended to. It is as if you shutdown yourself and you have no idea when and what is your limitation. Kaya darating ang araw na bigla ka na lang sasabog na parang bomba.

Sa ilang sandali nang gabing iyon, nag-alala ako sa mga pwedeng magbago dahil sa nangyari. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano kukumbinsihin si Tonett at ang iba na hindi totoo ang sinabi ni Hendard. Na liligawan niya ako. Dahil ang totoo, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa ipinahayag niya. Plus, he said it without thinking that things might get worst.

And what are those things that might get worst?

My mind silently asks me. Susana likes Hendard. It is obvious. Hindi iyun maipagkakaila ng mga kilos nito. So, yes. Things between her and me might get worst. Thinking about it makes me feel ill.. but on the other hand, so what? It's not as if it is my fault that Hendard declared his love toward me.

Hinatid ako ni Hendard nang gabing iyon sa bahay. I could not exactly remember why I end up inside his car but all I know was Tonett's hands, throwing me onto him and my willingness told me to just do it. I slapped him yes because I was so shocked. But honestly, something feels different. I am certain I felt different than before. As if I was secured.

Is this some kind of sorcery? Smiling like an idiot while thinking about Susana's dropped jaw, I am getting insane here! The following days, I was worried as hell that Susana might eat me alive when in fact, I don't even know why am I affected by it. Kung galit siya, hindi ko na problema iyon. Dapat ganun ako. Kaya lang, there was also part of me telling to be more polite.

"Ano nga ang formula ng equation na to?" it was Susana, asking me. Bahagya akong nakaramdam ng saya nang sa wakas ay sa akin siya bumaling.

Kahit magkasama ay parati si Moises lang ang tinatanong at kinakausap. Tinignan ko ang tinutukoy niya.

"Tignan mo sa page 98, nandoon ang formula niyan."

Binuklat niya ang libro at hinanap ang page. Nang makita ay sumubok na mag-solve ng equations. Bumalik naman ako sa pagme-memorize ng lessons. Hapon na ng magpasya kaming ibalik ang mga hiniram na libro at lumabas mula sa library. Nagpaalam sa amin si Moises na may lakad siyang pupuntahan kaya natira kaming magkasama ni Susana. Tumunog ang aking phone.

Hendard:
Anong oras kita susunduin?

"So, kailan mo balak na sagutin si Hendard?"

Hindi ko agad na-replyan si Hendard dahil sa tanong ni Susana. Naglalakad kami sa covered court patungo sa annex building. Nag-aya siya na mag snack at malapit doon ang cafeteria kaya patungo kami roon.